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My 84 yr old mom has a 2nd floor condo with no elevator. Due to the fact that she was having increasing difficulty managing the stairs, plus her insistent claims of being lonely, we were able to get her into a first floor apartment at a Masonic Home, where she claims to like the apt. and does at least have some interaction with others.
Her condo has been on the market for about 6 months now, with basically no movement at all. It is reasonably priced, and in a good location in the city. I think things are just not selling right now. She is able to meet all of these obligations, including her rent, condo fee, and taxes... probably just barely breaking even, though.

A week ago she told me she wanted to move back into the condo. I told her "no way". She sold most of her furniture, she cannot move herself, and she had her niece and daughter-in-law do EVERYTHING to get her moved. For her to want to move back is an insult to them. She CANNOT continue to negotiate these stairs.

My brother (he is local in KY I am in FL) told me tonight that she called the realtor and wanted to cancel the contract. My brother and I are at our wits end. I should make it clear that we do NOT believe that she is at the point of being truly unable to care for herself or make (most) decisions. I think this is partly irrational worry about her finances and perhaps a bit of a pugnacious attempt to punish my brother (she has had issue with him before... her fault IMO).
Any comments or suggestions by this great crowd would be greatly appreciated. FWIW, my previous posts were about her difficult personality and how that is a very big part of this problem.

Thanks,

Bood

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freqflyer - she does own it. The condo is in KY, not FL where I live. It really is a decent location near everything in Louisville, but the HOA fees are a little high... we are going to try and get the realtor to lower the price again. I don't blame mom for being nervous about paying rent and having the condo taxes and fees hanging over her head.. I would hate that, myself. If we can just get the condo sold, it will at least buy us time until the next crisis.

Thanks to everyone!
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Loo loo, gives really good advice. Mom is very much like your mother. Mom is 84 and just this week told me she when she can no longer take care of,herself, she wants to go into an assisted living or nursing home and she is going to sell her house because she doesn't want to keep it up, so she says. That will not happen. My brother is POA and he will not sell,her house. Mom can't tie her shoes not because she has dementia or is not capable but she is lazy and a big baby.

So my brother will just ignore her to some degree. If I were you I would do the same. Don't move her again.
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BoodaGazelle, does your Mom own this condo or is she renting it? You mentioned *rent* but also mentioned *taxes*.

With winter coming early, the snow birds from up north will be heading down to Florida, hopefully the rental/selling market will start to pick up.
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Hi Bood, if you or your brother have POA, you can probably speak to the Realtor and assert some authority.
With personalities like your mother, you've got to be very firm, as well as distancing yourself. If you're able to handle her affairs for her, that's fine, but don't be "available" for her vague and/or petty complaints. You can't make her not lonely, you can't solve the issue of her mobility, etc. In my own mother's case, I've had to stop returning phone calls and keeping contact to the bare minimum. This way, I can arrange and manage most everything without her interfering, arguing, and generally being an uncooperative, argumentative pain in the a--.
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She is clearly getting more confused, but mostly about things she always had trouble with, like understanding her finances. But the entire family pretty much agrees that she does not have dementia yet. I don't know if she has depression or not. The move to the community living situation was intended to address her main complaint of "loneliness" .... I have never heard her say she was depressed.
She has never really been able to make or keep friends due to her judgmentalism, even to having to constantly change churches. The problem is her, and it is not just aging.
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Booda, does she have dementia? Is her depression being treated?
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