Step dad passed away, and mom is so lonely. She lives in assisted living with dementia. What can I do? - AgingCare.com

Step dad passed away, and mom is so lonely. She lives in assisted living with dementia. What can I do?

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There are 3 children that visit at minimum every other day. And she is so unhappy, she will not try to meet other residents. What can I do? Am I visiting too much or not enough?

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Honestly, of course your Mom is lonely.. she is uprooted from all that she's known...

My Mom has dementia, too, and now lives in a NH. I see her at least 5 times a week.. feeding her... holding her hand... hugging her.. speaking with her... This gives her noticeable comfort to know she is not forgotten or abandoned...
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if your mother hasnt nurtured friendships for the last 60 years i dont think you should feel guilty if she feels lonely at this point. it sounds like your family is putting a lot of effort into keeping her company. shes fortunate. in the three months my mom was in AL i saw da*n few people visiting other elders in the home.
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This is obviously a very sad and confusing time for your mom. How long has it been since stepdads death? Does the AL have a grief support group? Can you attend some of the mtgs with her at least the first few times til she gets comfortable or connects with someone?

Maybe speak with director and see if there are other widows that might be willing to befriend your mom and help her thru this or offer companionship and friendship. Your mom might be isolating herself. Maybe you could organize a small group coffee and dessert at the facility, they should be able to accommodate you in a small room privately, where you can get these people together informally a few times, with you there to facilitate --kind of a "meet & greet".

Is there a hobby she enjoys? Can you lead a small group for a book club, music, craft? Keep it simple, short book, poem.

Also, your local church may have clergy or grief counselor that would be willing to come in once a week for awhile and talk to her and help her thru her loneliness .

Just some suggestions. It's so hard to get them engaged, especially if they are depressed (a dr might be able to prescribe something to lift her spirits) but any drug therapy should be coupled with outside stimulation and social networking so she doesn't sit around isolated.

Good lick.
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