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It's heartbreaking to hear. Lately my mom has been crying when I visit her in the nursing home. She asks me to take her with me. It breaks my heart. I can't be comfortable in my home, I feel bad that I'm not caring for her in my home.

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Thank you all so much for your comments and suggestions. I really am trying to keep my emotions under control. I'm just as anxious as my mom about her situation and I that just makes things worse. I've got to be strong, and make the best of her living situation. I'm doing the best I can do to care for my mom, I wish I could care for her myself. But I cannot, so she has to live at the nursing home. I've got to accept this fact. I need to be strong for her.
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Did your mom talk about how she planned to be cared for, if she needed to be in a facility? I think that it is important that families have that discussion. Most parents would not plan to be a burden on their aging children.

I try to keep that in mind. Mother is 96 and in a NH in IL and she thinks that she can travel out to AZ. to see me. She was a very practical woman for 90 years. I know she wouldn't really expect me to take care of her. I am 61 and care for my granddaughter.

What happens if you smile and say "Let's do something, tomorrow, when I come back?"
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How long has your mother been in the nh? When did her dementia start? When did the crying start? Does the staff think she is particularly anxious right now (other than when you are leaving)?

It took my mother a few months to feel comfortable in the nh. She would get anxious when I was about to leave. "Can't you stay and eat here? Do you have to go so soon?" But she gradually seemed to conclude that she was being well cared for, and that her daughters came often. Now when I'm ready to leave she just says, "good bye." She is glad to see me, but not (usually) clingy about my leaving. (With dementia she has some bad days, of course.)

I hope that this crying period will not last long for your mother!
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Thank you Francis and Blannie for the hugs. It helps...a lot. I'm not sure how much my mom remembers as she is in the early stages of the disease. I'm sure I do hurt more.....I pray my mom doesn't remember the sadness.... like I do. Thanks again you two.....Angels , both of you. :)
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Nora, with dementia, those fears can be forgotten quickly. Would this work - - - "Mom, the doctors are being very careful to be sure you are all right before you leave here. They want to watch you just a little longer, I know you want to be careful too. Let's see how this goes. ' You might even ask if there is something special you can bring her. Good luck.
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Nora if your mom is like mine, she won't remember that crying five minutes later. So steel yourself and know that it isn't staying with her like it is staying with you. I've asked my mom if she remembers crying and she never does (like the next day), so it's like a 2-year old's tears. In the moment, it seems like the biggest thing in the world to them, but it's gone from their universe minutes later.

You're doing the right thing for your mom - it's harder on you than it is on her. {{{{Hugs}}}}
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My heart goes out to you (HUGS) I would be the same way. I live with Mom, and every once in awhile she will say "don't take me away", "please let us stay together", etc. I wish I knew what to say to you because I can tell, since you feel this, you have a very good heart. I'm sure that others here will have better advise, all I can do is offer my compassion and another (((((HUG))))))
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