Mom asked about her deceased mom. How do I respond?

Jazzybrazz30, when a person has dementia and they ask about their late parents or late siblings, do not tell the person that they had died. By doing so, they are re-grieving over and over again.

This is a good time to use what are called "therapeutic fibs". My Mom [98] wanted to go visit her parents so I said "your parents are visiting the old country" which was something my grandparents use to do. Mom would smile and say "that's good".

Any time Mom asked to visit her siblings, I had to be quicker on my feet with the therapeutic fibs and try to come up with something that my Mom would accept.

I've found that it depends on the situation. Many times when my mom asked about people who had passed I was honest. She would get surprised and then of course sad. Toward the end I would ask her what she remembered about the person and if she continued to asked I would tell her they stepped out to take care of a few things or run an errand. It would relax her and most often we could move on to new topics. Normally I would always be honest with her, but I realize it more hurtful and distressful trying to convince her people she loved had died. It felt more compassionate to let her know that they were safe and ok.

You simply tell her the truth as many times as she asks about this one thing. Then change the subject. I think people with dementia often go back through the people they DO remember and wonder why they haven't seen them in a while.