Mom and I now share a residence. What did I get myself into?

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So I finally got Mom to move to Ohio after another hospital stay ane her Dr. telling her that she absolutely cannot liuve by herself anymore. After 6 weeks or more of planning, the move was made and I'm already sorry I did it. And she's only been here 3 days!!!!! How in the world can one old woman be so critical with someone who has just spent all this time and energy to give her a place to live where she is much safer and well cared for? So what if the brand new curtains I bought and put up on her bedroom windows aren't ironed yet? Didn't I spend countless hours on the phone making sure she had oxygen to breathe with when she got here? What has precedence in this picture? She just gives me no breaks on anything I do. If I'm cleaning one thing she's already asking me if I did something else. REALLY? Is there a way to deal with this obnoxious behavior? I love her but I'm not really liking her right now.Now she's trying to hide Tylenol from me and lying about how much she's taking at a time. I had to threatenen to hide it from her and she still snuck some into her pocket. Then lied to me about having it in there. She wants to take 4000 to 5000 mg a day!!!! No amount of explaining about the harm she's doing to her organs with that dosage makes no difference. All I get is "Maybe I'll die a little sooner" ughhh Advice is certainly appreciated.

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i'm sorry about your situation. I really don't have any advice for you except to set boundaries and practice self care. xo from a fellow Ohioan. :)
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Oh, Sneaky.... Mom has COPD but she also has at least mild cognitive impairment. Judgement is not so good. Perspective has been lost. It will seem personal but it's not, she just can't think her way through things that make her anxious anymore. Google COPD treatment and you find tons of info, probably more that you can digest. Her pulmonologist will want to make sure her oxygen and CO2 levels are OK and not adding to her mental confusion. I wish you well! I have a cousin in Colorado in the same boat.

GOOD job getting a proper limit set on the Tylenol by the way. 4/5 grams a day is way too much, 2.5 or less is a lot safer...if she's getting 3grams or more, have the doc follow her liver function tests....
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Be aware that I can tell my oxygen fluctuates with the weather. I get where I can't remember common words, names,things like that. When the weather changes it comes back. I seem to have had enough oxygen deprivation to have some stroke symptoms from it sometimes. Mine was made worse by the fact that we moved from Dallas Texas to Boulder, Colorado. My specialist at the lung hospital in Denver said that the symptoms were made worse by the lower oxygen at elevation. The little air sacs in my lungs swell shut so when the barometric pressure changes so does my air capacity. Not looking for sympathy, I am worlds better now. But the situation gave me first hand insight into the whole lung thing. My dad has copd, and my mom had her lungs fill up when she had her heart bypass, so I can see the similarities and calm them down sometimes because I know what it feels like. They told me at the hospital that my repeating "there is enough oxygen, there is enough oxygen" like the little engine, to calm myself probably helped as panic and hyperventilation just make it worse. I was a breeder of cockatiels and parrots and had to give all my "babies" up. Also gained 50-75 pounds on the steroids but I seem to be addicted to breathing so you do what you must. The sensation of not having enough oxygen is terrifying.
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I'm really surprised there's not more input on COPD.My mom goes through other episodes where she is confused. Like this evening, everything else was normal (which, normal around here, is really insane) and she's like "where am I?' "I want to get up for dinner". I just went along like every other day and asked her what she wanted to eat and that was it. I wonder if she has those moments where she's not getting enough oxygen. I don't know.Sometimes I think she's faking, for the attention. I do know it's been quite a journey so far and I really do wish you Peace and don't do to much, to soon. Let her or expect her to do as much as possible to help herself.
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This is tough and sounds like you are doing all the right things and making a huge sacrifice.

Please consider getting some in home care for her a few hours a week to give yourself a break and check in on her. Get her to go to the senior center for daily activity and lunch if possible several days a week and that will give her a welcoming place to go and help her to make new friends.

Most of all, TAKE care OF YOU! You need your sanity and health and well being as much as mom.

Good luck.
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Lastresort, never heard of that but look up 'Salt Pipe', might be of interest to you.
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I don't have COPD but I was diagnosed with hypersensitivity pneumonitis about 20 years ago and there is NOTHING as terrifying as feeling like you can't get enough air. My lungs have improved, but I still remember telling myself "there is enough oxygen" because you want to panic and hyperventilate. Haven't got any cures, or ideas really, but I do have great sympathy for the panic.
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I'm sure it was a speculation based on her history, physical condition and lung function. But I understand on the anxiety of not being able to breathe. My mom does the same .....the more anxious she gets over anything the more problems she has breathing. She is on a low dose of Ativan but most times won't take it unless I sneak it into her somehow. She has been getting better on taking it though. I think she is finally convinced that it is to her benefit to stay calmer. We also have a back-up tank of oxygen for emergencies. I'll have to keep your method in dealing with an episode in mind.
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Seems odd the Dr. would predict what they call an 'exasperation', I'm wondering how he would know that. Maybe he was speculating.Anyway, I also have portable oxygen tanks,besides her concentrator, when she has a hard time breathing ( I call them episodes) I give her 1/2 a Xanax and hook her up to the portable as it is pure oxygen. Within 20mins.she is calmed down and I sneak her back on the concentrator (switch hoses). I do know whith my mom, there's alot of anxiety about not being able to breath and the more the anxiety the worse the problem gets ie; Xanax.
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to whodatunk..the only information I really got from the Dr was that mom will have at least 1 life threatening breathing episode within a year. She has severely diiminished lung capacity.She decided probably over a year ago that she didn't need to do the nebulizer treatments because they didn't make her feel better like the rescure inhaler did. What she wouldn't hear from me or any health care professional was that the nebulizer went deeper into her lungs to help keep them open. Again she knows best!!! There isn't much information on the net about this disease that I've been able to find. I would like to know more.
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