Mom and dentures. Any advice?

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Mom is 90, post stroke, vascular dementia, CHF. She had problems with swallowing but this has vastly improved with skilled speech therapy at the nh. Her old partial plate no longer fits. The facility dentist is recommending both upper and lower partials.

I'm think of just doing the upper, as she has never had a lower before. Mom occasionally asks about dentures, and just as occasionally says "no thank you". She's losing weight, is on a soft chopped diet.

Am I grasping at straws here, she has the funds to do this. I worry about the trauma of the fitting process and the fact that she's now on oxygen 24/7. All comments are welcome. Feel free to tell me I'm crazy!

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Dentures can be a pain! (both literally and figuratively) I have been in the process of getting dentures for about six months, and am still wearing temps. In my case, it's the lower partial that isn't right yet; and still stick to softer food. I can't imagine someone who can't complain where they don't fit right going through what I am. I'm going to a dental school because the cost was way lower, but it takes longer. At one time I had an upper partial from a private dentist that looked nice but didn't bite properly, and he wasn't cooperative about dealing with it, so no way was I going back to him when I needed more. My current dentist says that (dentures aren't better than real teeth. They are better than no teeth." If they aren't better than no teeth...
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We have a good family friend 89 years of age, who had upper dentures, but due to her dementia, she grew uncooperative in allowing her daughter to put them in and take them out. Apparently, they were bothering her and she could not articulate it.

She is doing fine with just her lower teeth now. In fact, she looks really good and has not lost any weight.
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I am so blessed to have you all in my life! I am often heard to sat to my extended family " my message board says NO".
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ba8alou, my Mom [97] has upper and lower dentures and some of her own teeth to which these dentures clip onto. It's been a constant struggle with my Mom as she keeps the bottom denture out until she needs to eat something, even a cookie, and afterwards immediately she will remove the denture and clean it. And it will stay out until she eats again.

Mom's dentist, bless his heart he is so patient with her, is at wits ends because over the past 30 years Mom will not keep the bottom dentures in long enough to get use to them. Then the denture will twist, a tooth will break, or the denture will snap... gee wonder why. And getting new ones is difficult at Mom's age.

Therefore, I would say if your Mom realllllly doesn't need the denture, don't do it.
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Same here. A doctor recently outlined for me a bunch of awful procedures that he would recommend given mom's diagnosis. I said ( and this has becomemy regular question with most docs tthese days) what would you do ifthis was YOUR mother? "Keep her comfortable and stop poking holes in her".
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Ba8alou I have that "fixer" nature too. Show me a problem and I'm going to find a way to fix it, whether you want me to or not, LOL! I took my mom to the doctor about her weight loss (thinking I could get her an appetite stimulant) and her doc told me it's natural aging and to let her be. It kind of traumatized me at the time (it felt like the young female doctor was chiding me for my concern), but I think it was probably a good thing, because I can't "fix" everything and I need to have reminders of that from time to time.
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Balancing act it is! My mom is not complaining, but she never has been the complaining type. Mom dropped from a very stable 135 to 120 while still living independently. Her doc said this was just natural aging. She went into the nh at 117 a year ago; she's now barely 100 pounds. She is very concentric us about hydration, and she eats her meals and seems to enjoy them. Just my "fixer" nature rearing it's head!
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I'll play the devil's advocate here. If she's on a soft chopped diet, I assume she's able to chew the food? Does she complain about it and not want to eat it?

She may be losing her appetite as a natural part of aging. My 94-year old mom is at that stage. Down from ~160 to 121 lbs, where she's holding with a LOT of support from me. But it's a struggle to keep her eating enough (she still has her own teeth) and drinking enough to stay hydrated.

If your mom isn't complaining about the diet and lack of "good food", I doubt dentures would help her that much. But I totally understand your desire to do whatever would help her at this stage. I'm there with my mom. It's a constant balancing act...
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