Mom with Alzheimer's confuses son as her husband. Any advice?

My father in law confuses his daughter with his ex wife. He is always telling her that they could run away and get married and live together again. At first it creeped us out, but, they really do look similar. We just have to try to remember that "THEY ARE SICK" and this is just one of the side effects of the illness. Deflection works best for us. Whether he is angry about dinner, or the television or whatever, we just ask him a question to change the subject. Or start telling him something funny about our day. He will start to pay attention to what you are saying and not remember being angry. Mentally it is exhausting to always keep doing this, but, I now keep a list in my head of things to tell him, so when the anger rises, I am prepared with a new story or topic. The anger is the hardest thing to deal with for us so far, but, we are managing with deflection techniques. There is a lot of helpful information on the internet about how to deflect and how to redirect the conversation. Good luck. This site is a wonderful tool to use as well. Good Luck.

Why did she become angry? Was it in response to you telling her that she was wrong and you were her son? Understanding the trigger for the behavior can help us create a path perhaps less likely to lead to difficult situations.

Wow it does make you wonder why she got so mad at you when she thought you were her husband doesn't it? But then again I guess I'd rather have her mad at me than trying to smooch instead! Maybe it's time to take her back to her doctor and at least make sure she doesn't have a UTI to add to the Alzheimer's. Also maybe it's time to revisit the idea of the meds she's on and whether they're working or not. You know she's only going to get worse, so gotta think of the future medications etc. Could your wife have stepped in when she started getting so mad at you and distracted or deflected her anger? Or I wonder if when she saw another woman in the midst she would've gone off the deep end totally and tried to kill you both. Hmmm Either way, get her back to the doctor for an evaluation if you can.