Mom, age 81 with dementia, has been in a wonderful memory residence for the past 7 months. It is a secured building, but there is freedom to come and go in the enclosed garden and connecting building. Most of the other residents have progressed farther in their dementia, so mom is one of the few "smart" ones. Two months ago, a new resident, a man named G, moved into the building, directly across the hall from mom's room. G is about at mom's cognitive level: can have a rational conversation, loves classic movies, reads the newspaper. Mom and G hit it off, and now he is spending most nights with her in her room. This week, mom told me on the phone that she and G are "thinking about the future." Mom does not really comprehend that she's in a locked building, she doesn't understand how long she's been there, and she thinks she's going home "soon." I'm happy she has a boyfriend, but already it has brought up some serious issues. Today, G invited mom to out lunch with his daughter. When G's daughter arrived, the daughter agreed to bring mom along. The aide on duty stopped them at the door and told them mom is only allowed to leave the building with mom's son or daughter. Yay for the aide! Boo on G's daughter! What on earth was she thinking? You can't just walk into a secured residence and take out the family members of people you've never met or spoken to! Mom was disappointed, and I'm afraid more disappointments are in store with this situation. Has anyone dealt with this type of situation? PS: I am 3,000 miles away from mom.