My parents are 91. Mom was just put in a full care facility. She has been bed ridden for over a year due to a stroke. She also has alzheimers, but she still recognizes people and some days her memory is very good. Dad paid for 24/7 private care for her for the last year, but the unpredictability of the care providers and his physical exhaustion motivated the move. The facility where she is also gets her into a wheel chair every day. The caregivers at home couldn't do that.Dad's mind is sharp, but he is losing weight- He probably weighs about 130... and has been dealing with infections, blood pressure, etc. She is controlling him by "acting out" in the facility- so he feels he needs to be there all the time. The man is exhausted. Even when brothers/sisters are there with mom, he feels he needs to be there. Two questions: 1. What can be done to calm my mother down without completely knocking her out? 2. How can we help Dad to set some boundaries so that he can live out the rest of his life?
They have been married for 71 years. There are likely some unresolved issues between them-caused by mom- that she is in complete denial of and won't even discuss with him. HELP!!!