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My mom & I have had 2 long conversations about her going into the memory care unit. Both times she agreed to go but has forgotten all about the conversations. I have to take her to her doctor for an evaluation for the unit and a nurse from the unit is coming over to her house to talk to us within 2 weeks. After waiting all this time, I am now unprepared to explain it to her and my tell her my reasons why she has to go (safety). I am so afraid that she will refuse to go. I'm sure that a lot of folks on this page have been through it, so I am asking for advice on how to break the news (which she will probably forget) and when the time comes, how will I tell her that she won't be able to come home?

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Hi Coral, I don't have to tell you how emotional this is for everyone! The ONE 'good' thing about memory patients, is they forget the conversations shortly after you are finished! How do you feel about the following approach? -- Mom, the doctor says you need a bit more help with walking/ getting around (whatever) There is a wonderful place near us that helps with this. We're going to try it for a while to see how it can help. Not much more and no repeat conversations. Don't give her a chance to angst over it. When my Mom was finished rehab (after a broken hip) I told her that the doctor wanted her to get more practice walking and moving around. The next day, my sister accompanied her in a medical transport and she arrived at the Memory care unit. I was there waiting and we already had her room all set up for her. She was there for 18 months before she passed away and I know I was fortunate that she never gave me a hard time about it. It just became her new home.
I call it 'gentle story telling'. Good luck and keep us posted.
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Thank you geewiz. That's an excellent idea!
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