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There is a little free bistro onthe premises where she can grab things like a carton of yogurt, jello, or pudding, a fruit cup or a small salad. Last week she had 15 salads, 12 expired pudding cups, and 100, yes, 100 cartons of yogurt—all of which expire on January 25th. I asked her why, and she said it’s in case they stop feeding her or she wants a snack. I showed her the expiration date and said there was no way she could eat them all by the 25th. She said she doesn’t believe in expiration dates. I know they are usually “Best Buy” dates, but dairy products definitely expire. She has no taste buds left, so she won’t notice. Suggestions before she kills herself with food poisoning?

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My MIL had it rough in Japan during WW2 and she and FIL were low income. Luckily they had good LTC insurance. When she was in AL she took the banana at breakfast, desserts, sugar and jelly packets, breadsticks, and crackers at every meal back to her room. Whenever we visited (2 times a week) she would hoist all of this on us. It got old FAST. Sometimes the desserts even had a bite missing. She was only trying to feed us/ help us—she was a great cook and constantly cooking before the move to AL, so it was the only way she could feed us without a kitchen. It didn’t matter how many times we said we didn’t need it, so it mostly all ended up in the garage. But it was her way of showing love.
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My mom was born October 28, 1929, to poor dirt farmers. The memories of that time are strong. I'm sure that's why she hoards. When she moved into AL, she had 200 boxes of jelly, 50 boxes of cake mixes dating back to 1997, and hundreds and hundreds of expired cans and bottles of food. This isn't a new thing for her, and I had hoped that being in AL would limit her opportunity to hoard. But it hasn't. Sigh.
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JJ, well well well so mom is doing “craft service”? Lol! Y’all are beyond fortunate this has not been on the radar of the AL for it to become an issue. If she is in her own room at the AL, get the refrig removed. Everything in it trashed and personally I’d quietly remove & throw all away but a couple of containers ahead of the refrig being removed. You don’t want administration seeing a sm deli in mom’s room. Do not place anything back as that’s a food safety issue.

Also would like to suggest that you use this as a way to get mom assessed for her level of care capabilities. At 95 she is not going to get better in her being competent or cognitive. If she’s best off in a MC or a SNF, placing her into one asap as sooner than later is best as it allows her to adjust to the rhythm of how they run. If that’s what she gets assessed at, the AL may have a related facility their residents most often move to and the AL works with you in transitioning. Like they keep an eye out on her putting foodstuffs in her pockets or her walker and deflect her from doing this.

FWIW, btw my mom and mil we dealt with 8 different facilities, from IL to SNF. So often you’d see families pushing off placement into a SNF / NH; and when elder finally FINALLY went into a NH they were not competent enough to go over for mealtimes, to participate in activities, to understand the call button, etc. These residents never adjusted to the rhythm and stayed slumped over in bed or in a wheelchair. Terribly sad and often avoidable.

If her being in AL is bc there isn’t the $ to private pay for a NH (as AL is so much le$$), you might as well gird up and start dealing for that eventuality and what glitches maybe there for her to be able for LTC Medicaid eligibility. Get started on all this now while she’s still somewhat active and seemingly competent and NOT in a panic & under a 30 Day Notice (to move).
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JudgeJo Jan 16, 2025
Thank you. Mom is still pretty mentally competent, but she was born on October 28, 1929, hence, the eve of the Great Depression. I don't want to see her evicted, and I think she's still too high functioning to go to a Memory Care. Maybe I should try just having a conversation with her about her hoarding?
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Start checking every time you go there and put it all back in the self help bistro. Let Admin know what is going on.
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igloo572 Jan 16, 2025
I’d be cautious about doing this as the facility might use this as a rationale to give her an eviction notice.

AL do not have the requirements to ensure a continuation of care aka a “like 2 like” placement of a resident like a SNF / NH does. They can do a 30 Day Eviction Notice.
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Have your mother’s health and mental conditions evaluated since she requires supervision. Hoarding is a severe mental disorder.
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When my stepmother was in AL she did the same thing, the facility did not check the refrigerator, we had to throw the food away.

We tried everything to make her understand, she just didn't get it, she was always the kind to clean out a table of condiments from restaurants, drove us batty!

Finally, we placed her in MC, that basically ended her hobby, no refrigerator.
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At least she gets some exercise heading to the bistro then back to her room.
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JudgeJo Jan 16, 2025
I love it! LOL!
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I hope you or someone else can go through it all weekly because usually a facility does not go through refrigerators . They don’t have time for that .

If Mom is hoarding things in her room that need to be refrigerated and she’s leaving it out in her room or in drawers etc , unrefrigerated , that’s a bigger problem , that the facility would need to be aware of .
If this is the case Mom may need to go to memory care .
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Yes, throw all that stuff out. AL staff generally do not go into a residents refrigerator to clean. When you go visit, bring a Hefty bag and use it for the expired foods in there.
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You will ask the ALF, which normally cleans on a routine basis, to check for food stuffs due to this tendency. They will be happy to do so. They don't want mice as pets any more than mom does!
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JudgeJo, welcome to the forum. Your Mom food hoarding may be the result of what she remembers or how her parents were during and after the Great Depression. When the Great Depression was over, our parent's parents were still very careful about material things, especially food.


See if your Mom can talk about that time frame. Maybe that will explain why she hoards the snacks.
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