Mom is declining now at a rapid pace, becoming wheelchair bound in the last month. She is experiencing Sundowners and even with medication she doesn't sleep through the night consistently. Dad insists on sleeping in the same bed or in the same room so he can hear her if she tries to get up. That means he isn't sleeping either.
My sis and I have both suggested hiring someone at night. He has help 4 hrs/day, 5 days a week and of course hospice makes regular visits. He feels very confined but won't leave her for very long in someone else's care.
My question is, what can we expect as she continues to decline? When do we decide that she requires 24 hr. care that he simply can't provide and what will that look like?
I live 75 miles away and come in twice a week to shop and check on them. My sis lives several states away and visits every three months or so. I have children in town who can be there in a minute if there's an emergency but Dad is determined to do everything he can not to burden us. He's worn out physically and emotionally.