Sometimes barely walking around the house. Does not cook, clean, laundry or anything. I have been doing everything and driving too. All of a sudden she is demanding to start driving again. She is going to talk to the doctor about it. And also talk to him about getting off of the Morphine she takes. She doesn’t know I have talked to the doctor about it, Already he says no way is she ever going to be driving again. He said And also I need to let him know. When she starts saying it. Last night at dinner she announced that this weekend she would like me to go with her so she can drive around. My husband spoke up and said. You are taking morphine? Uhm, no way are you driving anywhere. Morphine is a narcotic. And you cannot drive with that. Well so now she seems pretty mad about it and this morning pretty cold. Any suggestions? She has a Dr appt next month, I will go into the room with her. But I think this will turn into a big mess. Dr said to let him know when to pull the license. I would like to have a sensible conversation with her first about it. But I don’t know
My Moms Neurologist sat down in front of her, looked her in the eye and told her you can't drive and why. She excepted what he said better than if I had told her the same thing.
Are u sure Mom is not having Dementia problems. One of the first abilities they lose is the ability to reason. Its logical that taking a drug will keep you from driving.
In a memoir I read recently the author mentioned the many reasons we go off our feet. Balance issues and we even lose the fat pad on the bottom of our feet, combined with arthritis, and at the VERY time we should be giving up our driving we cling to it even more because we are incapable of walking very far. You already know the reasons she cannot drive. The doctor appointment is coming soon and you will BOTH inform her that this is impossible for her now, and that you are very sorry and grieve this ONE MORE of MANY losses she is going through. The comment of "No WAY are you driving" sends her into a defensive mode of "I'll show YOU". It needs to be "I am so sorry, and I recognize that this is just one more loss you are grieving, but driving now is impossible because......................."
The doctor can help you. She can grieve, she can shout and she can wail, but that won't change the sad facts. It is WORTH grieving over. I wish you the best. Old age and the many losses on a long slow relentless slide down is not a way to avoid mess. It IS mess personified. And very sad.
YB took her keys and put a 'lock' on the steering wheel, but to my knowledge she never tried to even get in the car again.
When she brings it up, say "Mom, we know you want to drive again, we know it's frustrating to you to not be able to any more, but we cannot let you out on the roads. You are not a safe driver." Then refuse to discuss it further.
Yep, she's going to be mad, but that will pass. I'd rather have a mad mother than a terrible car accident on my conscience. I'm sure you would, too.