Mom (in-law) came to live with us 5 years ago. This is a permanent arrangement. All of us agree that something drastic changed when she got c-def, because of the way Mom has decided to deal with the current "situation". A little background on us. We have been married for 25 years, we have known each other for 43 years and have a strong tender relationship. We have grand kids, we have 5 grown kids , all successful and the best part, we all live in separate states. Don't judge me on that last statement, it's healthy and it works. The issue now is the current ambulatory restrictions on Mom. They have been imposed by her. There is nothing wrong with her health, but she has decided that she would rather live in a hospital. I'm no dummy, I've had a hand in raising 250 foster children as a respite care giver and a foster parent. I do not lack compassion for her and her condition, however my first concern is my lovely wife and her aging issues, not to mention the fact that she has to see her Mothers behavior and wonder (as we may all), if she is destined for the same road. I need a perspective that is created by the realization that it is possible that an elder person does not have to have Alzheimer, or Dementia, to display the common behaviors of a 12 year old that cannot cope with the rules of the house, the limits Nature has put on him, and remain productive, relatively positive, and appreciate the people that help the most. I believe she may be exercising her authority upon her daughter which, I believe she thinks will cause friction, and maybe force us into the kind of thinking she has adopted. We are determined that this won't happen, but were surprised at the lshortage of others in this specific situation regarding elders, and of the proliferation in the pre teens but no line drawn between the two groups. I think there may be tools here that could work for both, I need help in recognizing the similarities, and governance of response and application of techniques more likely to attain results than create an atmosphere for deterioration. Any suggestions?