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my numbers might be inaccurate but the uk determined recently that alz caregivers alone were bearing 67 billion dollars worth of expense for the govt annually . i think in time govts will recognize the personal loss in income but until then it wouldnt hurt to let the care recieiver replace some of your lost wages . you are still ten times cheaper than al or nh ..
i had a little skirmish with the law 3 yrs ago . a lot of angst , vandalized a butthole customers property when i left the job . obviously not the proper way to deal with the problem . of course i got thrown in the slam but interestingly enough the court appointed attorney and both judges involved , completely behind my back and over my head , took into consideration that i was stressed to the gills from dementia caregiving . to me this indicates that govts are beginning to take notice of caregiver burden ..
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tallvine, your post is a carbon copy of what I was dealing with regarding appointments for both my parents. Happiness were the days that my parents were seeing the same doctor so I could do back to back appointments.

I also had to into the exam room with either Mom or Dad, or both... otherwise afterwards I would hear them talking in the backseat of the car and I was thinking we were in the same exam room??? Mom has very poor hearing now so she doesn't pick up everything the doctor says, and Dad is too busy thinking about what needs fixing at home to listen to the doctor. Usually the conversations are between the doctor and myself :P

At least my current boss is very understanding as his wife had Alzheimer's, and there were days when he couldn't come to the office, thus I understood what he's going through.
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I was in the same boat; in addition to GP, cardio, gyn, mom wanted to go to the eye doctor every month or so; it turned out that she was complaining of dry eyes, but she was really concerned that because she has the "good" kind of macular degeneration, she was afraid she was going blind. Getting her to Ind. Living, getting her a geriatrics doc who was on site (so she could walk across the parking lot to see him) and getting her a geriatric psychiatrist who saw her in her room once a month to manage her anxiety and depression meds cut back on most of the other visits. You CAN do a call in to most doc appointments if you need to, ie have the taxi service or whomever take her there and you call in when the doc is seeing her to ask questions. And/or ask questions by phone or email after the appointment. Now that mom is in NH with multiple health problems, I think long and hard before we have her taken out in an ambulette for an appointment. With frail 91 year old bones, it seems that more and more, there is a downside to the travel that outweighs any benefit to be gained.
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Mom's the same age. They had her going to a heart doctor twice a year, a pulmonary doctor twice a year, her primary, an eye doctor, her pacemaker clinic and doctor. Between normally scheduled appointments and follow-up appointments, that's all I was doing.

I stopped all of them. She has a primary who comes to the house. I have faith in him; so does mom.

Gotsta' do what one's gotsta' do.
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I was just thinking last night of how people say "it takes a village" to raise children. My mother now requires a small army.
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I hear you. That's we we got her to move to Assisted Living.
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You're not alone, tallvine. FMLA exists now, but that's for a leave of absence. I'm pretty luck that my company, and job make it possible most of the time for me to take a day off or two to take care of my mother's business. But I do wish that I could use the time for an actual vacation. I have taken extended weekends here and there, but the last actual full week off was....I don't know! It's been years. I really feel for people who are risking their job security (or job performance) by having to take the time off.
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