My father is in beginning stages of dementia but is still oriented to person, place & time while my mom is in full dementia (hallucinates, forgetful, confused about everything). They live together on memory care fl. in assisted liv. but my dad can't tolerate my mom's behavior. He refuses to take meds to calm him down & doesn't want to get separate room which they probably can't afford anyway. My dad sits in a chair all day long and watches every move my mom makes. If se moves anything around the room, paces from room to room, goes thru their drawers, etc. he yells at her to stop it, put it down, don't touch that. He does it all day long which stresses her and she either ignores him or goes out in hallway for hours. We've discussed with him numerous times that her behavior is due to dementia and she can't help it but he wants her sitting down on couch and not moving all day which is crazy.
I've been called by the facility and told that he grabbed my mom's arm so hard to make her stop what she was doing that he left large bruise on her arm. About a month later he caused a skin tear on her arm again trying to stop her from doing something . What do I do? There are no open rooms in facility to move 1 or the other to and I'm not sure they could afford it even if there as another empty room. I don't want my mom living in fear or being yelled at all day and dad refuses to take any sort of medicine to help him with his temper. I'm the only 1 caring for them and am disabled myself and don't know how to fix this.
Anybody have any ideas? Dad won't listen no matter how many times we tell him to back off and leave mom alone.