Life has a way of derailing one.
Step-Dad has some sort of dementia, mild, was driving up until a few weeks ago, a bit forgetful and sleepy. Oct 22, he went to the hospital after stroke like symptoms, 8 days of testing and the doctors determine he has metastasized cancer throughout his abdomen.
He is still in the hospital and we are waiting for Palliative Care to be organized in the home. In Canada Palliative Care is like Hospice in the US. We have not yet been given an estimated life expectancy yet. Weeks, months who knows?
So many changes so fast. With the dementia progressing slowly there was time to adapt as each change came along and there had been very few. Now Mum who is not a homebody, is looking at having her life turned upside down. Luckily she is social and welcomes having caregivers in her home. But she will need to have time away from the house, time walking her dog, time in the garden, time for her regular social activities.
The dining room will have to be converted into a bedroom for him, as the bedrooms are all upstairs. I will have my son help with the heavy lifting. I told Mum I would get boxes to pack up the China cabinet (it is a small room and the space will be needed) she went into a bit of a panic.
I know many of you have been in the trenches for years, but this is all new to our family. How does Mum manage when the caregivers are not there (we have been told 3 times a day)? He is at least 130 pounds heavier than Mum.
I am nearby, but draw the line at personal care. I can go over and work on my homework while Mum gets a break, but I will not change him. I know we can arrange for Hospice to have a volunteer come sit with him, but that is for companionship not care giving, (Again the differences between CA and US.) Mum was a Hospice Volunteer for several years.
I am a full time mature university student in a city 30 miles from home, so my availability is limited. I have a part time job that is somewhat on hold and have given the groups I belong to notice that my availability will be limited.
His kids live far away. My brother and his wife (a doctor thank goodness) are coming tomorrow for a short visit.
I guess I do not have a question, just needed a place to tell others who know what is can be like what we are facing. Thank you