My previously super smart husband (PhD, JD and med school) was diagnosed w/MCI. He is 76 and still works part time legal/political/policy advice, NOT a litigator. It is not my first rodeo as my mom (she passed a bit back) had dementia (not sure which type, no point in doing deep dive diagnostics, she was in a nursing home by then) and her cognitive and physical impairment was obvious 24/7).
My husband, is "on" sometimes and seems like his prior self. Then at other times, back in the impaired state. Not much of a patterns yet, not sundowning. And yes, I get it this is not atypical w/MCI or even dementia; they can be "on" and totally with it or not.
My problem, and question is any advice on how to handle the NOT knowing which state they may be in. If I sometimes, slow down things and give a few steps on something, he snaps and says, "Why are you talking that way, I am not an idiot." Other times, if I just plough through something, he has the "deer in the headlights look" and I then know we are back at the impaired level and I need to not rattle on or rush through things.
Any good "test" comments that might help me assess which state he may be in, so we can both avoid or mitigate this? Thx in advance.
Just see If you can feel him out before you start a conversation. If he's snapping at you, I'd leave the room and tell him to let you know when he's in a better mood. You've got a long road ahead of you, so set out your boundaries now, even if you have to do so repeatedly. I found that with my mother, when I told her I didn't deserve her nastiness, she'd often stop it. Even as her dementia became advanced.
Best of luck to you.