My Mother in law is showing definite signs of early dementia compounded by alcohol use. She is increasingly irrational and abusive to everyone in the family. My Father in law is having a hard time coping and we are not sure what to do. We have pushed for doctors (even rehab) but she gets extremely angry and FIL immediately backs down. We unfortunately (or thankfully) live far from them but are in daily contact. At a loss for what to do or how to help. Where do adult children go to guidance for situations like this?

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Butterffly56565, one thing to have Mom-in-law's primary doctor check is for an Urinary Tract Infection.... such an infection can make an elder a very unhappy camper, uncooperative, etc. This infection can be cleared with antibiotics.
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She really needs a complete check up. There are some other treatable conditions that show similar to demensia.
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FIL can talk to her Dr and ask for an evaluation. If she is thought to be in the early stages of ALZ there are now medications that can slow the symptoms down.
When she is getting extremely angry you may be able to get an emergency psych evaluation. Basically FIL has to step up to the plate. the dementia may be due. While she i is still considered of sound mind there is little anyone can do especially her own children.
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