MIL is ready for a nursing home in the UK. Any tips when looking at homes?

Check the care inspectorate reports on each care home you're interested in. Go and view them also. Find out what activities they have, menu choices, what services they offer. My mum was in the all singing home for respite and they packed her bags after 3 days because she dared get vocal about not liking what was on TV...she has stage 6 alzheimer's what did they expect?!! I have found another nursing home for her with great reports and it may not have fancy pants furniture etc but the staff are dementia trained which is way more important than the sofa matching the carpet! I was given a tour of the place and everything was bright, smelled and looked clean with plenty to do. I am hopeful she will go to live there permanently next week
Ive been her carer for 9 years and I'm physically exhausted now, my back and hip are receiving physio and mentally I'm at the end of my tether.
My mum isn't self funding so I can't help with that, but as I said don't just focus on how the place looks, read the care reports and good luck!

I just moved my dad from independent living to assisted living in the states. I had 20 questions that I asked each facility, but the most important observation is to observe the residents. Are they happy? Are they conversing with one another? I’m went with a facility that had good marks from the health department and low staff turnover. It’s important for the resident to see the same faces every day. My parent is also in a facility that has other facilities within it like rehab, skilled nursing and end of life care. My dad is 96 years old with mild dementia, but with all these other facilities on the same campus, if needed, he can be wheeled to each for care. His place also looks like a nice spa. As to that, I say why not be in nice surroundings where everyone appreciates it, staff too. Plus, the residents like the availability of the beauty shop/barber shop, even a massage. If your parent has some mobility, make sure there are handrails all the way to the dining room and other areas for your parent to use. Also, ask your parent’s doctor what facility he recommends. Oftentimes, it’s the housekeeping staff that notices any problems and my experience has been that they seem to be the most caring of all the staff. Also, look to see what emergency system do they have. Some facilities have chains or buttons for the resident to push for help. My dad’s current facility has him where an alert button at all times. He can push it for anything he wants or even an emergency. Once pushed, a nurse will answer the call. In Colorado, all assisted living facilities have to have a nurse on staff 24/7. That’s a question to ask. I had to move my dad from a spa-like setting AL facility because he fell and NO ONE came and the nurse wasn’t even at the facility! My dad was lucky, just stitches in his hand, but the pricey facility with all its glam, didn’t perform. My dad didn’t get help for an hour after I had called in a panic for someone to check on him. Questions to ask: staff to resident ratio, staff hourly or shift? I found hourly workers to be better as the same person saw my dad every day. How many staff around, is there a nursing or mobile nursing station? Most importantly, if you can check the citations the health department has issued. I didn’t know about that option with my dad’s last place and found out they had 13 citations in 2021 ranging from physical and verbal abuse to theft. That’s the other thing. I don’t let my dad have any money, credit cards or banking information in his apartment. He does have his wallet with ID and Covid vaccination card, as well as health insurance card. I also have a copy of his health insurance card. Sorry, long winded. Do your due diligence and check out 3-4 facilities.

In the states, there are also smaller facilities, care homes. Usually, they are owned by a person who hires one or two assistants. There are just a few residents-maybe 3 or 4. I hear very good things about many of them. A quiet, environment with a constant caring staff and home cooked meals, sort of a family situation, can be very good for many people. Beauty shops and activity groups...maybe. Again, all the usual caveats apply, literally follow your noise, how does it smell, try the food, trust your gut on your reaction to the staff. And, maybe most importantly, once you place them drop in often and at various times, to get a feel for the ongoing atmosphere, not the show atmosphere.

Most facilities will invite you for a meal, definitely take them up especially if it is not a time when the general public is invited. This will give you a chance to observe interactions between staff and residents. Go to any public activities you are invited to but keep in mind staff will be (or should be) on their best behavior. Some facilities will even invite a potential resident for a trial stay. Whenever you are visiting, if you see a current family member visiting ask their opinion and if they would select this facility if they were starting over. Keep an open mind, some answers may be based on something that happened that day... good or bad.

I BELIEVE IT'S WELL KOWN THAT DUE TO OUR PARENT'S EING THE BABYBOOMER GENERATION, ALL AGING NOW, THAT THE ASSISTED LIVING AND NURSING HOMES ARE FILLED TO CAPACITY. THEY ARE UNDERSTAFFED, AS WELL AS FORCED TO HIRE UNDERTRAINED STAFF JUST TO FULLFILL THE BASIC TASKS.

I THINK THE STAFF ARE THE MOST INFLUENCIAL FACTOR WHEN COOSING WHERE A LOVED ONE IS PLACED. THEREFORE, ONE THING I HAVE TOLD OTHERS IS PAY ATTENTION TO HOW MANY STAFF APPEAR TO BE ON DUTY. ASK FOR A COPY OF THE SCHEDULE DURING THE TOUR- COUNT THE NUMBER OF HOURS STAFF ARE WORKING. HOW MANY STAFF APPEAR TO BE ACTIVELY WALKING AROUND HALLS AND ENGAGING WITH OTHERS?

MORE IMPORTANTLY, CHECK HOW MANY STAFF ARE IN THE DINING AREA WHEN A MEAL IS BEING SERVED. MEALS CAN POSE HUGE SAFETY RISKS FOR MANY; MANY NEED ASSISTANCE OPENING CARTONS, CUTTING FOOD OR HAVE CHOKING RISKS JUST WITH SWALLOWING. ALL VERY COMMON SAFETY RISKS FOR THE ELDERLY. SO HOW MANY ARE AROUND DURING MEALS?

I THINK A WELL RUN AND SAFE PLACE FOR OUR PARENTS COMES DOWN TO HOW MANY STAFF AND HOW ACTIVE THEY APPEAR ON THE JOB. IT MIGHT SEEM LIKE COMMONSENSE BUT MOST ARE LOOKING AT THE ENVIRONMENT, THE SIZE OF THE ROOM OR TOO BUSY ASKING ABOUT WHAT PERSONAL ITEMS YOUR LOVED WHEN CAN BRING ON MOVE IN DAY.

THE STAFF WILL DETERMINE HOW SAFE, HOW ENTERTAINED, HOW HAPPY AND HOW HEALTHY OUR ELDERLY FAMILY MEMERS ARE WHEN YOU CAN'T BE THERE. HOPE THIS WAS HELPFUL.

A CALM AND SENSE CAREGIVER

My husbands Aunt lived in Wales near Cardiff. She had ALZ and got too much for a working daughter to care for. She was placed in a beautiful place. It was like it had been an Estate and they converted it to an Assisted Living. She was there almost 10 yrs maybe less. The last picture taken of her she was a 100 and she looked really good. Must have had good care.

TU Dot for saying u were from the UK or you would have gotten answers based on our health system here. Country Mouse and I think Tothill are both from the UK.

Well, absolutely not in my current working capacity (strictly forbidden!) but speaking as a former copywriter who worked on their account previously and also as a service user of their continuing care community in Wiltshire a few years back, I can recommend that you have a good look at mha.org.uk. They have a variety of sites and services in Staffordshire, though of course I can't say if any would be conveniently located for you and family (location is an issue - you want somewhere that everyone can get to); but in terms of dementia care alone they are among sector leaders and you should be able to pick up some tips about what to ask from their site.

The quality of care relies so much on the quality of leadership, is the thing. If the managers and team leaders in a home or centre don't individually believe in training, professionalism, and all of the other lovely concepts covered in the Care Act and the Code of Conduct, then the staff haven't a prayer, and workers become stressed, miserable and cynical. They can't do their job well even if they want to.

I wouldn't pay too much attention to cinemas and computer suites unless you also see residents using them, for example. The gardens might be lovely, but can people living with dementia access them safely and independently? - in one home I visited (which I really did love, though it wasn't an MHA place and mother never got to try it) there was a raised fish pool in the enclosed garden that you could walk round, see the fish and the planting and enjoy the sound of the water, but not climb or fall into. Look at how everything's been designed, ideally watch how it's being used in practice.

Other "tells": what questions did they ask about your MIL? Did they seem genuinely interested in understanding her personality? What did you think of how they interacted with the residents you saw? Were the staff pleasant and helpful to one another, as well as to residents and visitors?

CM, one of the challenges in the USA, is that doctors create groups that fund and open care homes, then they guide clients to their establishment.

They may be nothing more then a venture capitalist in the establishment but, it is a conflict of interest. That is often times hard to track because of corporations holding LLCs and that type of set-up.

All completely legal in some sectors and a bit fishy and borderline in others, especially the medical field. However, it is a lucrative business and it is common here.

I have to apologize to Cover999: there I am confidently asserting that no NHS hospital social worker would be making recommendations of a particular care home, only to read the original post properly and see the statement that that's exactly what happened.

Dot, what sort of hospital is this, what range of options did the social worker offer, and whereabouts in the UK are you, roughly?

The problem with a brand new place, depending on who built it, is that there will be no inspection reports from the CQC and you will be relying on the ability of the parent company to recruit good leaders and good workers. Given how bonkers the care sector is at the moment (we've been having a major recruitment drive. The team is now only 30 under strength) I don't think you can take that as a given, and it isn't only about the £/hr pay rate.

A walk through will be helpful. If levels of care are involved as in ALF ask about them what indicates need of higher level. Ask how often prices are raised and how much. My brother's ALF raised them yearly 3-5% and that was in paperwork.
Try to take note of how well staffed and how you see staff engaging. Ask about programs they may have. I would know more to tell you about an ALF I think than about Nursing Home. Ask to attend a meal. Look at cleanliness of the facility.
I think that if you visit several you, yourself, will begin to see differences. Wishing you good luck. I sure know less about the UK than about the USA.

I don't know how they are in the UK but in the states, there are more bad then good.

Go by your gut. If it doesn't look or feel right then eliminate it from contention.

Hospital social worker recommended one,? Automatic pass. When they do that there's a good chance the hospital has a vested interest in it, whether it's good or more often then not, low rated.

Good luck