Hello everyone, My 96 year old MIL lived with us for the past year, but recently moved into a small Assisted Living only 3 miles away. My husband visits her almost everyday to help smooth the transition. He is her only child. Her care was increasing and we were unable to travel because she had problems with any hired help or respite care. "Sheila" (name changed), has short-term memory issues, decreased hearing, and some periods of anxiety and confusion. She was seen recently by Geri-Psych, but she refused medication for anxiety or depression. She passed the cognitive testing, but the issue is not intelligence, it is judgment, mood, periods of confusion, and anxiety. Sheila has always been adverse to Senior Centers etc, thinking she had nothing in common with them. She likes to watch the news, Jeopardy, old movies, and feels that other people her age have no ability to relate. She did live alone and drive until last year when we became aware of some serious forgetfulness like bills and losing items. She describes herself as a "liberal," and and an "atheist," and makes this known to people around her on a regular basis. The issue now is that she is having occasional outbursts at group mealtimes. She does not really try to know that other people, but wants to talk all about herself. The other residents are not yet interested in her subject matter. A resident asked her to quiet down last evening, which resulted in her shouting and going to the director with complaints. Afterward, she called my husband to tell him that someone had told her to "shutup." She was hurt and did not mention anything else. This has happened several times with extended family and at an assisted living respite care. She does not remember her part in the matter. She becomes very defensive if we discuss these things (which is not very often). So, we are trying to help her understand how to settle into the new living situation, but feel that she may continue to be somewhat "obnoxious." This will prevent her from making friends and being happy there. I am a nurse and understand some of the neuropsychological issues going on here, but am not a geriatric specialist. I do feel that some sort of anti-anxiety med could be considered such as Seroquel, but we will discuss this with the geri-psych MD. I guess what we are asking is: How do we help her in the meantime? Should we discuss the events with her? How can we help the staff and other residents to understand? We are at a loss today. Thank you.