My future MIL, 65, was diagnosed with Parkinson's by her GP in November 2017. She's spent the last two years or so slowing down, sleeping a lot, getting herself into a giant financial hole, and ignoring other medical problems.
Finally got her in to see a neurologist beginning of March and he thinks it's Lewy Body Dementia, not Parkinson's. I saw her this past weekend and I haven't seen her for about six weeks prior to that (my fiance is the one who takes her to doctor's appts and checks in on her) and she's gone downhill incredibly fast. She was still in her PJs and a bathrobe sitting on her front porch at 4:30 in the afternoon, smoking a cigarette with a neighbor. We try to talk to her and if it's not something she wants to talk about she just kind of ends the conversation by staring off into space.
She's mentally just not there anymore when it comes to responsibilities, but she's on the ball and feisty if there's something she wants. Since we've taken over her finances about two months ago she has little "rebellious" moments where she tells us she wants her bills back because it's too stressful for us (I'm a tax accountant... I literally see budgets and bills and debt everyday, hers are no big deal other than we keep finding new debts pop up).
Last week her brother picked her up and took her to visit his house for three days. He called my fiance the day after he dropped her off back home and said he thinks she needs to be in assisted living. She didn't bathe the entire time she was there, never used a toothbrush or hairbrush, takes at least an hour to get ready anytime they went anywhere. They went to Wal-Mart and she opened a package of Peeps in the store and started eating them. When he asked her what she was doing and that she had to pay for those first, her reply was "They'll never know."
She's currently driving on an expired license and no car insurance because anytime we make extra money room in the budget to renew her license or buy insurance... she goes and takes cash withdrawals out and bucks the budget. We've tried to make her aware that driving around with an expired license and no insurance will get a ticket at the very minimum and some hefty fines, but she doesn't seem concerned unless it's a trip she doesn't want to do ("Oh, I cancelled my doctors appointment. I didn't want to drive uninsured." but yet drives thirty minutes across town to go to lunch...). We're trying to get her assessed for driving functionality at a rehab clinic, but she has to have a current license in order to even do that assessment.
The problem is she doesn't have the money for assisted living and we're in Florida where Medicaid only covers nursing homes when medically necessary. She's still able to be on her "best behavior" in front of doctors and when she wants to be taken seriously, so I'm not sure how we would ever get her help.
She really does need to be living with someone -- but we've already established (fiance and I) that it is not us. They don't have a good relationship due to a strange childhood (she's bipolar with schizophrenic tendencies on top of her LBD) and that would stress us both out to no end, especially as we're getting married this November and it's time for us to start "our" life together. Neither of us is even 30 yet, we didn't think we'd have to care for an elderly parent this early in life. He has an older sister, but she's a financial disaster as well and we're afraid that if she wouldn't be able to pay her share of the rent they would both get evicted together. Plus his sister has drinking issues and gets into spats with their mom as well.
Does anyone know how or where we go to get her honestly evaluated for Medicaid assistance for long term care? She has another GP appointment tomorrow that my fiance is taking her to, so he's going to bring it up with the doctor. But I've heard there are strict rules for when Florida Medicaid will kick in for care and I'm not sure if she's at that point yet. She makes around $1500/month with social security and a portion of her ex-husband's pension and she is in debt to so many people we don't even know where to begin with affording assisted living.