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I have been taking care of my MIL for 2 years. She moved from NJ and was told it was time for her to not live alone anymore. My Husband and I along with our 3 children to move her into our home with us. I quit my Job to accommodate the situation.
Mom is no welling us she wants to go home. She feels neglected and has no purpose. I know I can not take things personally. But it's not easy.. She wake up very confused, this has just started in the last week.
What can I say or do to help her to come to terms with her emotions?

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Canservive, please when whenever a person with Alzheimer's/Dementia is talking about going home, the home they mean is their childhood home.... back when life was simple and fun for a child.... that is where her mind is now going.

My Mom [98] started to ask about going home and I was thinking it was the house she and Dad had shared, and where Dad was still living. Then I realized it wasn't that house, it was her parents/siblings house. She wanted to visit with her parents, so I had to use what is called "theraputic fibs" to smooth out the situation. I told Mom that her parents were visiting the old country [which they use to do a lot], and my Mom accepted that. Until the next day, when Mom wanted to visit her sisters [all of whom had passed], and depending on what sister she wanted to see, I had create a reason that she couldn't go.
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Lymie61 Aug 2019
I'm not sure Dementia patient's always or all mean their childhood home or that it's that simple for all, I mean what about people who had several childhood homes, had families that moved around a lot for instance, how do you know which childhood home they mean? While I know this is often the case I also think some patients fluctuate between "homes" as they fluctuate through times in their lives. My guess is you are correct they fall back to a place where they were happy, felt safe and life was simple but that could be the place they raised their kids or the place they lived in when first married we all have different life experiences.
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Ditto to below comment, but also since you said she has a new symptom of confusion please get her to doc to check for urinary tract infection as often elderly can't identify their symptoms and the infection gives them dementia-like behavior that will improve with antibiotics. While there, discretely ask her doc to do a cognitive assessment on her. Treat her with mercy but remember that her emotions are subjective to the situation. Mostly you and DH need to make decisions for her like you would want someone to make for you, if you were in her shoes.
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"The doctor feels you need this care right now, Mom; but we will reassess where we are next time we visit. Keep working hard to get better."
This of course is the thing most heard most often by everyone on the forum. Whatever works for you works, and sometimes there is nothing that works. The end of life isn't about happy all the time, and there is just no way to make it so. Don't let her emotions be your responsibility. There is no way you can control them or heal them. Just do the best you can.
And some choose honesty such as "I am so sorry, Mom, but you aren't well enough to be home alone right now".
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