I recently found this site & I'm hoping y'all might be able to give me some guidance. I'm in my early/mid-20s, adopted as a baby, and stuck trying to balance a full-time job+1hr commute and a school course with a nasty, narcissistic 65 yo mother. She is the textbook definition of someone with narcissistic personality disorder (perfectly nice to everyone except my sibling and I), and she has several chronic medical issues (gastrointestinal, diabetes, severe arthritis). While she is still able to do things herself, she plays the martyr and refuses, leaving me as a caregiver of sorts. Duties include cooking her meals & cleaning up (she barely eats when I don't cook for her), running all of her errands, helping her do her laundry, figuring out anything she can't figure out (technology, bills), grocery shopping, taking care of the family dog, and on the off occasion she runs an errand herself, I must go with her "for company" but also to be her pack mule. She is prone to falls & has a lot of trouble getting up, so I always have to be on alert. My mother has "looked into" non-medical caregivers (not sure exactly what those are called) - the kinds of people that you pay to come to your house for a few hours to help with light housekeeping, errands, companionship, etc. - but never does anything about it because it "won't help". I have been doing all of this since my father died nearly 3 years ago, and my only sibling is now in a steady relationship and only comes over to the house 1 day a week to do the things I can't do (e.g. set up bigger holiday decorations outside, balance her checkbook). Her attitude and mobility (despite physical therapy) have really gotten worse this year, and I'm at my breaking point. I am so immensely bitter for a few reasons: I have virtually no family left (deaths & moving to other states), I've been physically, verbally, and emotionally abused since I was 3 or 4yo, I feel like my sibling has jumped ship & left me stranded, and most of all, I feel like I am truly missing out on creating a life for myself. The abuse has been the worst of all, the most soul crushing. I bend over backwards to help my mother, dedicating what little free time I have to trying to make her life easier, and I get a swift kick in the rear for it. No thanks. No appreciation. A lot of her attitude comes from her narcissistic personality disorder, but some of it also comes from her high levels of pain. She refuses to do anything remotely helpful for herself (medical procedure that could alleviate a lot of the pain, for instance) and would rather everyone cater to her and listen to her whine. The verbal/emotional abuse is what has led me to posting here - my life is a constant stream of "I can't believe how stupid you are", "you don't do anything to help me", "you're such a moron", and those are some of the *nicer* ones. Look up emotional incest, if you don't know what that is - this is my daily life. Oh, and did I mention I live at home? I have virtually no privacy, and she needs to know where I am every second of the day because she is controlling and paranoid that something bad will happen to me. (At this point, I'm tempted to willingly let someone abduct me...) I am planning on moving at the start of the new year because I have had it with her. I plan to go limited contact, and probably just one visit a week or once every 2 weeks, schedule dependent. Please help me get through these last 2 months. My life is truly unbearable at the moment. It has become so bad this year that I have developed anxiety that derails my day out of nowhere, and mild depression that leaves me feeling sad, helpless, hopeless, and everything else that depression brings. I need advice on how to manage a nasty, aging mother until I am able to move in 2 months - the holidays make all of this 50 times worse! (Must wait 2 months to move due to finances & work schedule.) I know I am not a caregiver in the traditional sense, since she can take herself to doctors appointments and doesn't need help dressing, washing, etc., but I absolutely do so many other things for her that I feel more like her employee than her daughter.