My husband's father moved in about six months ago, due to financial difficulties. He lost his house and quit his job to move in with us. We have two very young children. A toddler and a baby. He's dealing with depression and has no motivation to do anything outside of the house. When I agreed to this, it was supposed to be a temporary situation to help him get back on his feet. He's young enough to still make a living for himself but it's as though he just gave up and is content to live here with us for the rest of his life. The first month was fine. He seemed to be happy to be here and enjoyEd being around the kids. It got to a point recently, however, that it seems he thinks he is one of the parents. When it comes to disciplining my oldest child, he always steps in and tries to take over and explain why he's getting in trouble. I am then looking like the bad guy. He ends up being the person my kid runs to. It's putting a wedge between myself and my oldest child but I don't know how to set boundaries in that regard. He's always saying the kids help him distract himself from his own mind, but I also don't like my kids being used as an antidepressant. It's not healthy for them. How do I begin to even explain these things to him? Keeping in mind that he is very sensitive and takes offense very easily. I like to avoid conflict which is why he is here in the first place. He has also moved all of his very expensive furniture in to our home so now it is more of a museum than a house for children. It puts a lot of restrictions on what my kids are allowed to do. He tells me how much it cost him and it puts a lot of stress on me to keep my kids on their best behaviour around the furniture. I never pictured raising my kids like this. I want them to feel comfortable in their own home. I don't want to be afraid of spills and dirty hands being immediately washed coming in from outside before touching anything. I've never been one for expensive things. Those things don't matter to me. I'd rather make memories than preserve the material things. Then there's the financial stress. I have a baby under one and a toddler as I've said before. It's my job to be there for them. But we can't afford to have only one income and support all of us including my father in law. The pressure is on for me to get a job. It has been suggested several times that I get a job and he will stay home and watch the kids. I am the only one who seems to think this isnt a good idea. He is still filly capable of working, physically. But isnt mentally fit to go and find a job. This concerns me because if somebody isn't fit to work at a job that doesn't require much mental/emotional investment, how is he supposed to be able to do the hard work that goes in to taking care of my children? It requires a whole lot of patients and a whole lot of care and love. Not to mention that kids pick up on the moods and energy of people around them. I also don't think it's right that I will have to leave my livelihood and my passion. So he can live more "comfortably". (I should mention he has a major spending problem. The money he does get doesn't ever last more than a few days). I'm very good at living within my means. I almost pride myself on how good I am at it. I watch the bank account diminish as we struggle to pay our bills and I start to resent not only him but my husband as well. My husband is always away working so he doesn't see the inner workings of our home. I tell him about these things but nothing is ever mentioned or dealt with. And then one more issue is that he always wants me to take on projects with him that help him keep distracted. I obviously feel bad which then makes me feel obligated to do these things. Because like I said I feel bad. But I'm not qualified for this. And neither are my kids. We need to look after us first and we can't. I'm looking any and all advice. I'm at my breaking point where I feel like I should take my kids and get out.