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In April I was able to see my mom without my psycho brother there. When I showed up she quickly had me load her things she had at his apartment and bring her back home. When home she told me she hadn't washed her hair in 3 months. No shampoo. She was tired of living on Del Taco. And ALL of her clothes were soiled with urine. (he doesn't have a bed and she sleeps on this little couch that's about 4 feet to lay on. While he gets the larger one. This little couch acts as seating for eating too.) She had her debit card remarkably. But that didn't last long he sent over two of his hired druggy friends to pick it up and bring it to him. He immediately withdrew money to pay the "friends" and another that completely emptied her acct. She willfully does this but it's like she's in a trance. He uses triggers and she responds how he wants. Like the Manchurian Candidate. I need to get her out of there. She tells me she wants to come home. But she can't let him know. He will go into a violent rage. Only she and I have seen it. Calling APS was dumb. The social worker fell for his manipulation and instead of investigating properly like talking to me or her doctor she might have learned something. No! Instead she writes a very unfavorable report about ME! He puts on this crying scene in a click. Turns it off like that too. But it seems to be convicing because a lot of people fall for it. Like that poorly trained worker. Who told me my mom says she wants to stay there. Well of course she going to say that when you ask her with him there!! I filed 2 complaints against her. And now her house has less than a week to be able to pull it out of default. And I cant get to her. He makes her miss doc appts. wont pick up prescriptions, she has high blood pressure, cognitive decline, memory loss and GLAUCOMA that has gone un monitored for about a year and a half.

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You and your mother have my prayers. I am so sorry that this happening to you.

It happened with my great grandmother: She was living with her husband at the time. My great aunt decided to visit her one day and caught grandma's husband trying to hit her. (it's not the first time he's hit her, She has had bruises from past beatings, that she excused as clumsiness. She, after she was taken out, admitted that it was not clumsiness, it was beatings from him.) He also made her do the housework, cooking and was very controlling of her finances. She told my grandmother that she didn't have to deal with this anymore, packed her suitcase and got her out of there. My great grandma stayed a couple days at her house (Was very disoriented because of this and kept on asking to go back to her husband, but we decided that it was best for her stay out of that place) and then was checked into a nursing home. She was in her late 80's.
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Reply to Anonymous1256
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Exploitation, abuse & negligence.
Show no tolerance and jump on this with both feet.
Mother wants leave but afraid of him and what he will do????
Report it to Family & Adult protection. Then immediately go to police, explain that she wants to leave. (Adult protection may notify police immediately or you can ask)
In any event, go to police, They will assist you with this, accompany you as you get her.
Have a place to take her other than her home or possibly your home. Some place safe, secure and where she has medical help.
Then get a good elder law attorney who can lead you through proper proceedures in solidifying her safety and protection as well as yours.
Do not hesitate!
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Reply to anonymous418566
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While I didn't see your other post I agree with Countrymouse. Go back to APS but in a calm and measured manner. Write down what you have to say if that would help. Since they were critical of you previously you don't want to give them any proof that they were right. Be unemotional and professional and brief. Say what needs to be said but nothing else.

If your mom truly wants to get away from your brother get an order of protection against him.
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Reply to Eyerishlass
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It's no good complaining about how other people see things. You have to understand how they're going to look.

You have a formal report of a violent attack from 2018, from a qualified practitioner. You have evidence of unsanitary living conditions and inadequate care at your brother's home. You do not have to say a single cross word about your brother for it to be obvious that he is not capable of providing care for your mother, nor she for him.

Your mother DOES want to stay there. She wants to take care of her son. Why do you think it can only be because she's been brainwashed? The solution is to find better solutions for both of them.

I replied to your earlier post. I recommend you go back to APS, address the criticisms they made of you - rebut them if you can - and then reiterate the dozen or so good, objective reasons why your brother can't be your mother's primary caregiver AND vice versa.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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