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Hello all!
I just turned 22, graduated with my bachelors and pursuing my masters degree.
I currently reside with my parents, older sister, two younger siblings , and my grandfather. Never been in a relationship, or been able to have friends over. I feel like it has caused a mental strain which have lead to anxiety , and symptoms of depression
My grandfather has been living with us these past 5 years after being in a tbi incident which nearly left him dead, which occurred around the year 2011. From 2011-2013 he was in the “best hospitals” in San Antonio and soon returned home in a retirement home temporary while we were able to understand the process. My older sister and my self were around 13-14 at the time. Since then he moved in with us from 14’-present. My parents have made it an obligation for us to be at home caring for him as we have since a very young age. Since then we don’t get the opportunity to leave home. My courses are online for my masters and I don’t socialize with anyone. My parents don’t think being home as a young caregiver has affected our mental state. They don’t think mental health is important and no matter how much we have tried talking to them they will avoid our mental health at all costs. Yes our grandfather has been a huge part of our life growing up but so is getting to know ourselves. We missed out on so many opportunities growing up being limited by my parents always bringing up our responsibilities with our grandfather at such a young age. I currently am not happy with myself as an individual since If we do try to care for ourselves it’s just selfish. I feel mentally older than 22, I started to become a caregiver since the age of 17. And with the limitations and not support from my parents makes me depressed and it’s just mentally killing me. They don’t want me to reach out for help but I wanted to see what I could do to talk to them about the importance of my mental stability. Having to take care of him , my parents don’t permit us to get a job that can help us network or socialize with people.

You need to talk to a counselor, a social worker ASAP! You need to see if your grandfather can get any help, home healthcare? nursing home? Anything. Trying talking to his doctor, about what's been going on, talk to a social worker.

You are an adult ! You are allowed to move out, your allowed to get your own job, to make friends, your allowed to do whatever you please. You've been brainwashed, and manipulated into thinking that your supposed to devote your life to caring for your grandfather. You can still love him, and not be his caregiver . Start making plans NOW, not later, now, to move out of the house, your parents are going to have to find someone else to help care for him.

Do not waste your young adult life, and the rest of your life, caring for your grandfather, and then your parents. Get out of the house now. You allowed to go, to live your life, however you please, and if your parents can't accept that, then that's there problem.

Please keep us, informed. I wish you well. <3
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Mikuhatsune01
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Contact the TWC Civil Rights Division about employment discrimination 888-452-4778 (in Texas only) or 512-463-2642 (Austin area and out-of-state).
Call TWC's Labor Law Section about child labor or payday law 800-832-9243 (in Texas only) or 512-475-2670 (Austin area and out-of-state).
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Reply to Sendhelp
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Maybe it's just me, but from interactions at my work I wonder if there are cultural issues at work here also? The young ladies are not allowed to socialize or leave home.. online college.. This would add another dimension to this problem. Stay strong
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Reply to pamzimmrrt
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You (and your sister) need to get some counseling to break out from this. You have been in an abusive situation for years and it sounds like your parents could benefit from counseling as well. You are an adult now. Time to move out and stand on your own two feet. I'm sorry you are in this situation, but you need to focus on YOU now.
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Reply to SZHNJ1023
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You have a degree, put it to use, get a job, start planning for your future so that you can move out. I worked a 40 hour job and finished my degree at night, yes, it took longer, but the end result was that I was further ahead than others my age.
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Reply to DollyMe
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This is just terrible to read. I am so happy that you found this forum. Because you are an adult now, you are allowed and expected by society's standards to make your own decisions. Your parents have no right to make decisions for you now. You can get a job, leave the house, have friends and do whatever you please. You have been brainwashed to believe that you have to be a caregiver and cannot seek outside help. It is wrong, it is immoral, and you have been neglected, manipulated to go on caring without life balance, and you have not had your own needs met, and are not being heard. It is wrong, it is immoral - a second time, and your gut knows that and that's why you are writing here, you know it! You have tried talking to your parents to no avail. I believe the only way for you to break free is to move out?
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Reply to anonymous739426
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I'm sorry to read your story. You are a grown adult with a college degree. You are well within your rights to move out and get your own job. It is not your obligation to be physically in your house, forgoing pursuing other relationships and employment opportunities, all the time to care for your grandfather. What happens when your grandfather passes and then your parents need help? Are you going to need to stay to care for them after that? When will you get your independence? Age 50? age 60? You only have one life. Maybe there is a guidance councilor at your college that could help you with your situation. You are too young to be chained to the house.
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Reply to Happyplace
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