Anyone have an answer for this:
Mother is 93, has no hearing in one ear, consistently loses hearing aid or forgets to put in new batteries, has macular degeneration (legally blind in one eye) AND dementia - short term memory is pretty much shot. However she is severely adamant that she is fine and refuses to consider going ANYWHERE else. She currently lives in a condo group for 55+. We have been working with an elder attorney to protect her assets and have been researching places. He also told us that we cannot just "drag her out of the house" if she is refusing to move. We selected a newly rebuilt place with a memory care unit, which is only just opened that section. Deposit to secure a place was made months ago and we have discussed this issue with them. NOW that it is open and we are wanting to move her, THEY tell us SHE **MUST** agree to move in, that they do not do commitals!!!! We took her there for free lunch, tour, etc, but the problem is, even if she likes it and says yes, 10 minutes, an hour, a day later she does not remember it and will adamantly say she never agreed to this!
I have emailed the place to see what they have to say about this. The woman should NOT be left in the place she is in - she NEEDS to be in this place. My biggest question for them is HOW do you really think someone with dementia can agree to move when they cannot make simple decisions like what to order at a restaurant, or cannot remember what they said one minute ago (many 10 minute "conversations" on the phone revolve around one or a few things over and over and over.... WHAT are WE supposed to do?