Memory care facility nurse says they can't make my dad brush his teeth if he says no. What can be done?

There was an interesting post about dehydration and drinking just today, where the carer /poster was successful by drinking from a matching cup at the same time as the elder. ‘You aren’t being poisoned, it’s something we all need to do’. Brushing at the same time might also work, perhaps with a visiting family member. At least it might stop the power dynamic of ‘I am making you do this’.

I was told Mom wouldn't brush her teeth either. I asked if they put the paste on the brush and handed it to her. No was the answer. I said, then thats what you need to do. (Duh) Mom would brush too long and u had to stop her.

Red bell peppers, celery and cheddar cheese - yes, cheddar cheese - all clean teeth and neutralize mouth bacteria protecting tooth enamel. Offering him what he thinks is a bedtime snack will help clean his teeth.

I wouldn't sweat the small stuff. See if you can get him to brush while you are visiting. He may do it for you.

I just thought of something else. My friend who has a 21 year old with severe autism who is nonverbal and can’t do a many things on his own uses an electric toothbrush to brush his teeth. She said it was easier and faster. This young man does allow his mom to do it. Maybe suggest that.

Forcing someone to brush their teeth, or forcibly brushing them, is probably going to be difficult to impossible to dangerous to illegal. Bribery might work – could Dad get some sort of treat if he obliges? Why do you think it matters so much? Does his breath smell – if so could you try a pleasant mouth wash? Could he eat something like celery after his sweet food, to clean up the teeth and gums a bit that way? Do you know why he is ‘saying no’? Is it a power issue for him as well as for the staff? He doesn’t have many ways to ‘be boss’, perhaps this is the only thing he can think of.

I don’t know how this is handled but others will know. Stick around.