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My Mother (78) is well into dementia and incontinence has become a problem.

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My Mother is incontinent both urinary and fecal, and the fecal was always either diarrhea or on the verge of that (very soft). In her case, Imodium has helped a lot and was approved by all her doctors as well as the pharmacist as okay to take along with her other medications. Usually I give her 1/2 tablet per day and this is enough to firm up her BMs which helps her manage to hold on until she reaches the commode. If her BMs start getting too loose again, I up the dosage to 1 full tablet and can go to 2 tablets if needed, but it's a balancing act because I don't want her taking more than she needs for any longer than necessary in order to reduce the risk of impaction.
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One alternate idea is to toilet your loved one on a regular schedule. In the memory care facility I was involved with, every resident got toileted upon getting up in the morning, before lunch, mid afternoon, immediately after dinner and before bed time. It helped limit some accidents, though not all.
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Botox injection for the bladder but it requires Medicare preapproval and reapproval after it wears off. Usually lasts around 6 months.
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There are medications for urge incontinence which is when urine leaks out a little bit but as for total incontinence I don't think there is a medication which prevents it or controls it. Maybe someone else will come along who will know if there's a medication for it.
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