Are there any meds that help dementia patients with anxiety and anger that don't make them zonked?

My MIL lived to be 98. The last three years particularly were terrible, not merely hard. No meds helped. Seraquel zonked her out even at 25 mg. She had been on 200 dose for combative dementia. She hurt me a lot, physically. She was angry, depressed, anxious and finally started not recognizing her son. Her sexual advances to him and exposing herself were the topping on an already over-frosted cake. Death is the healer. There was no real quality of life here and late-stage combative dementia is a brutal thing to live with. There is no magic potion. You can't stuff the genie back in the bottle.

The dr just increased my mother's dosage of seroquel from 25mg in a.m. and p.m. to 1 - 50 mg in a.m. and 2 at nite. He also px lexapro in morning and now Mother cannot keep her eyes open. Getting the meds right is so difficult.

Ativan can worsen memory loss, I believe, based on our experience with my mom. She took it daily, some days twice a day, for about 20-30 days, for severe anxiety/panic attacks when she was in her late 70s. She had very mild memory loss at the time, but it got much worse immediately after that course of Ativan. It seemed to disorient her permanently. Once she got on an antidepressant, the panic attacks went away, but she has never recovered her memory or her former sense of place and time. (A known side effect of Ativan is memory loss; in the elderly it could worsen memory loss already present.) Apparently Xanax is a similar drug, and may have similar side effects, but I believe Ativan is more known for it. Quetiapine fumarate may be a decent alternative - at a very low dose of 1mg, it has really helped my dad with paranoia, anxiety and anger, although it does make him a little sleepy, so he is only supposed to take it in the evening. He previously tried risperdal, which made his heart race, and Abilify, which worked well and did not have noticeable side effects, but was extremely expensive. (There is no generic for Abilify yet.) Note that all three are in a class of drugs, antipsychotics, that carry a 'black box' warning against use in the elderly. But they're commonly used in spite of the warning, because the negative quality of life effects of the anger, paranoia and sometimes violence are so extreme. (For us, it had gotten to the point where my mom was telling us she was afraid that my dad might hurt her in a rage, after he'd thrown and broken things in the house around her -- this was not something we could accept in the family. We felt that her peace of mind, and his, were paramount.) If you can, make an appointment for her with a psychiatrist, preferably a geriatric psychiatrist, who will have experience with these drugs and be able to prescribe the right one for your mom's situation. I hope things work out for you!

Everybody is different! What is good for one could harm the another one. You should consult with the doctor for any meds.
But, there are some very helpful natural remedies available on the market.
Essential oils diffused around the house can really help. Herbal tea can calm down some anxiety. Rubbing coconut oil with lavender (only pure organic grade!) to the skin at night will help your loved one to sleep better. Apply few drops on the pillowcase if her skin is too sensitive.
Try to find out what might help your mom without addiction and side affects.

Ask your mom's doctor about Risperdal, just 1 mg. by mouth each day-it is an antipsychotic drug, one I have worked with a lot & my husband who suffers Solvent Dementia has been on it for 17 years now & I could not deal with him otherwise. I am a Psychiatric R.N. & have worked in the field for over 40 years now. Just put it out there to the doctor & if he is open to it-do it for your own sanity.
I have found that I tend to stay with the drugs that are tried & been used for some time. So many of the newer drugs have devastating side effects.
Low doses of Xanax work for panic attacks, as well as Clonazepam, as a matter of fact, same drug compound-one acts fast the other has a longer half life & stays with the patient longer.
Blessings be....

My mom takes Namenda. Doctor said it would HELP slow down, but not make her memory problems go away.
I highly recommend Alprozalam for anti-anxiety. Mom get crazy without it, she imagines she is in prison, that I have deserted her, tried to leave the hospital before they released her, claimed no doctors or nurses had come in or identified themselves, saw no white coats. Etc. awful for us both!

Does the namenda make her sluggish?

Namenda seemed to help with some of Moms anxiety. : ) Good luck.

The panic attacks are awful. I can't go out of town (mom's in assisted living). Because the panic attacks when I leave are much worse. Since traveling is so I love to do it makes me resentful. I planned on traveling when I retired, not taking care of an elderly woman

I've tried both Ativan and lexapro low dosages for morning panic attacks neither works..They both make her sluggish when she awakes and last to well into the afternoon.. I just have to try to calm her down on my own..

I've been told by DR that the effects are different with every dementia patient...

She has an appt next week and we will be seeing about a geriatric neurologist and psychiatrist because the panic attacks are almost daily and I'm about to loose my mind too!! LOL

My mother who recently passed away was on Namdnda. It helped her a lot with her memory and anxiety.
Hug your mother everyday! Mind USB ' there any longer and I miss her hugs!

My Mom has the same problem. She takes Ativan in the evening. It does make her sleepy, but it helps her sleep through the night. She takes a small dosage in the morning to keep things consistent.

You call her MD now, and get a mild anxiolytic to start with. It won't zonk her. You add meds in a low dose and increase only enough to calm her, not knock her out. Then when you see the MD in a few weeks, you review the effectiveness. If you do nothing, the caregiver usually quits.