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My mother is in an ALF and her shower days are monday and thursday. She has moderate cognitive memory loss. Every Monday the CNA's try to get momma to shower and she makes up excuses. I will tonight, or I will tomorrow. After 3 tries they are not required to try any longer. I had her internist give me a prescription for Alprazolam to calm her down but they have to call me and tell me she refuses and then they will give her the pill. Then it calms her down too much and I have to be there to help them get her bathed. Today was hell. It took us 2 hours to get her to shower and I would not let her go out o her room. I knew that once she got to the lobby, sat down she would go to sleep. She screamed, called me a bitch and I know this is the disease talking. I have tried the "You are going to the Doctor", "Let's get cleaned up so we can go shopping", having a very calm voice, hugging her and trying to get her to agree but to no avail. When she finally showers, she thanks everyone. Today I just had to show myself, get ugly and finally she let one of the CNA's shower her. It makes me feel terrible but she does not remember it the next day.
Anyone used another type of medication that will just take the edge off and not zonk a parent out?

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Alprazolam is Xanax and it shouldn't hit her that hard. May be a drug interaction, or get the Xanax ER, extended release version, so it doesn't hit all at once.
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Check out Seroquel. A very low dosage might do the trick.
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I agree with Veronica. There is something wrong if they are asking a resident three times and then not bothering to clean her up. I would go all the way to the top and complain. The aids need to tell her it is time to take her shower, and follow through. If they do not know how to do this, they should be trained by the facility in how to deal with this situation. At the second facility my FIL was in my husband walked in one day and found him naked in his room with feces on him. No aids around. After he cleaned and dressed his father, he went right to the head nurse and told her this was elder abuse! He was not very nice to her, and shortly thereafter, the head of the facility called us to apologize, and promised to make everything right. He was taken better care of after that, but we immediately put FIL on a waiting list for a better facility. It turns out they were hiring very young, inexperienced workers because they could pay them less.
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You could try half a dose about 20 minutes before the shower but stay with her and keep her awake, the aides probably won't bother. there are several other medications that can be prescribed so ask the Dr. be aware that the elderly have a lower tolerance for sedatives than those younger and weight plays a part too. Don't bother with the threats and promises she is going to be obnoxious anyway. With two people present tell her it is time for her shower and just march her in and do it. If you do not wish or can't do that she must be given a bed bath. Either two aides or you and an aide. What a nice excuse for the aides, they know what they are doing. ask her three tines and that is one less shower to do. Where is the supervisor and the experienced staff in that institution. They get PAID to care for the patients. sorry but I am a nasty suspicious old lady!
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