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Try milk for dinner. It has a calming effect and if that doesn't work, try 1 tablespoon honey, 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar mix together and drink quickly. She will sleep, not be drugged and be able to go to the bathroom without falling. Whenever you have a choice for reacting to a behavior of a person with dementia, first try non-pharmaceuticals. Also, get mom plenty of exercise during the day so she will be more tired at night and won't want to be awake. Exercise (walking) costs nothing and is so beneficial. Try those suggestions and let us know how they work. Best wishes!
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Look into Buspar. It is an anxiolitic (anti-anxiety) rather than an antidepressant or a tranquilizer. Also, it isn't an anticholinergic, which is really important.
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Finding the correct psychotropic medicine is less a function of the particular anxiety and what time of day it occurs than it is a function of your mom's body chemistry. Your Ativan example makes the same point: it knocks you out but it doesn't knock everyone out. Your idea to research common reactions is a good one, and you can do a lot of that online besides asking this forum. But don't assume that everyone's body chemistry is the same, and do expect that you might have to go through a couple of different dosages or even a couple of different medicines before you find the right thing for your mom. Enlist your doctor's help in what is essentially a trial-and-error collaboration.
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Would lexipro help? Mom started taking that night and it seemed to help
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