I finally got the mobile Dr to put in a referral for a neurologist. To test and officially put in writing that she has dementia and cannot take care of herself.
The mobile Dr did a simple dementia test. My mom said the year was 2007. She couldn't draw hands on a clock to indicate 2:00 O'clock. She missed all the questions except her name. She has some pretty wild hallucinations. Gave her SS# to some scam artist on the phone a few days ago. Says some guy stayed in the house and took naps. It goes on and on.
I can't/won't take her to the appt. She refuses to bathe or let someone help her. Smokes like a chimney and is dual incontinent. Refuse to change her depends. You get the picture.
What has anyone found when ordering a transport? Does Medicare pay for it? I know I can call her ins. But every second of my life spent dealing with her B.S. upsets me. My ulcerative colitis has been in a flare for the last 6 months because of her.
And yes I realize she has dementia.
She was a nasty unloving narcissist my whole life.
I have no problem paying for the transport myself if she can finally get a letter and I can get her into a NH where I know she's safe. Right now she has care givers for 5 hours a day and isn't real happy about that.
I just love this forum. I guess misery loves company?
I have gotten such great information from everyone here.
Peace to all of you dealing with Vessels of Evil.
Have you consulted with an eldercare attorney, using her funds?
unfortunately I can not access her funds to pay for her care. She has enough in her checking for maybe another 2 months. The rest is in annuities. I didn't see her on Thanksgiving or Christmas thanks to wonderful advice here. My husband has been going over once a week to refill her pills. So my stress level has lessened.
The annuities are mine and my brothers inheritance. We don't care at this point. We just want to move her and know she is safe. Sigh.......
"My brother who has never helped 1 day is coming from out of state in 2 weeks to figure a way to get her into a NH." I guess since she is still deemed to be competent, that nothing can be done until there is a crisis? I am unclear; does she live with you? As Barb just posted, you are killing yourself. You MUST find a way to remove yourself from her issues.
It is her right to live the way she wants. You have no obligation to provide care for her.
The only way she is going to get the care she needs is if you stop killing yourself to provide what she doesnt want.
They said even with dementia it is her right to stay in her home. I am executor once she is deemed incompetent. We just want to get her some place that will see to it that she is safe, fed decent food and given her meds.