Medicaid was declined. Now what?

When it comes to applying for Medicaid, A HOME IS A NON-COUNTABLE ASSET. You should appeal now.

I looked into what would happen if a person were to drop off a loved one at a hospital (sort of like those safe baby laws) & bailed. Seems there are laws for abandoning a vulnerable person. (To be clear, I was wondering because someone was advising someone do that & I thought it sounded like too easy an option that we would hear more about if it was common.) Anyway, she's basically abandoned him. She didn't roll up to a hospital & push him out, but her actions are obstructing his ability to have proper care - for her own financial gain. I agree with another poster - get APS involved. She shouldn't be able to keep 2 houses and expect you to run yourself ragged and into the ground without a fight. Try to find a Medicaid expert attorney, but it seems this issue also crosses over into family law venue...What a tangled mess.

HeatherB67,
Just to be clear, I didn't advocate that she drop him off at the hospital. I said 'if you're desperate, next time he's IN THE HOSPITAL, don't agree to take him back into your home when he's discharged.'   There's a HUGE difference. It is the case manager's responsibility upon discharge to ensure that a patient returns to a safe environment. If DadsCareGiver1 doesn't think that Dad can be safe in her home, she is within her rights to say so.

JJariz - Oh no! I should have clarified - I was referencing a post on a different site where someone simply suggested doing that - like dropping an unwanted pet off at the Humane Society. And it's the WIFE who has abandoned the OPs dad (with her selfish actions make that him ineligible for Medicaid) & who I would report to APS.  I completely agree with what you're saying - trying to juggle caring for LOs and "maneuvering" in a broken system requires "out of the box" solutions.

I suggested, partly in jest, that the OP in some way convey her father to the residence of the estranged wife. She IS the person responsible for the OP's dad, and it seems as though " you want the two houses, here have the owner who bought them" might break the impass.

Why is your dad starting radiation when he has vascular dementia and is having mini strokes? Radiation has been demonstrated to create protein plaques on the brain. I suggest getting a second opinion about treating your dad's recurrent cancer versus palliative care keeping his quality of life clearly in focus.

NYDaughterinLaw, You asked why the dad is starting radiation when he has vascular dementia . Her Dad has dementia, her husband is starting radiation.

As long as someone owns property etc. Medicaid will not kick in until his portion of the assets have been used up. An elder law attorney would be helpful.

I had a fleeting idea...Can't Medicaid put a lien on one of the houses - so that when it comes time to liquidate dad's estate wifey won't get those proceeds!?!? Yes - a question for a Medicaid attorney. Maybe talk to wifey & tell her that's how it goes when a married couple has 2 homes...Either way, she's not going to walk away with 2 homes & they'll probably go after the one worth more - because they can, so she better sign over the one she doesn't want NOW & be glad she gets to keep the one.

someone having dementia doesn't automatically become incompetent. If he can understand the question and has an answer, he is competent, IMHO. On a good day, he may be competent. Not sure how to prove either way.

Medicaid cannot just file a lien on joint property. This really needs a good lawyer to sort out. Being on deeds for two properties disqualifies him for Medicaid unless one is income producing and used for care.

Yes, eldercare lawyer ASAP.
Who has POA?
If they are not divorced - his wife should then be responsible for his care and the bills for his care. (obviously he is better in your care physically and emotionally, but she is still liable financially I would think).      
Maybe if she is presented with the option of HER being his caretaker, since she is his wife, she may be amenable to legally divesting one of the homes to be sold, and/or a divorce that gives her the other home to keep living in. Especially since I would think SHE (not you and your husband) would be legally liable for all of his caretaking bills.    
It is time to take the legal bull by the horns.
If you have POA - get the divorce going for him, (or put one of his homes up for sale). Let the lawyer know all of the reasons why you are pursuing a divorce/sale of a home,  for him at this stage - it is so he can have Medicaid coverage for his care and ongoing medical needs.
If his wife has POA - time to give her a wake up call to the medical situation. Then she has the option to be helpful, or be a jerk, but if she is a jerk, you can then have an eldercare lawyer (or go to court on your own ) and have her POA revoked, and then the court can give it to you, or to a court appointed guardian ad litum for your dad. (BTW - document, document, document - everything, every bill, every medical treatment, every piece of paperwork, all communications with her, with Medicaid, etc).
If your county has an Agency on Aging, seek their guidance/advice on how to expedite this for him.
If you can't dispose of the property (ies), the only other option would be to try to mortgage the homes to pay for his care, or do a reverse mortgage. (again needs POA and gets complicated, but is doable).
I '''think'''' if the second home is sold, they would allow his wife to remain in the one home, and then qualify him for Medicaid.
Again, comes down to who has his POA, his marital status,
and/or going to court.
Ask a good eldercare lawyer, or county agency on aging what all of your options are and how best to proceed with this complex situation.

It sounds like a mess, and you surely have your hands full.
Just know that people you have never met are praying for you and wishing you the best during such a difficult situation.

Thank you for all your suggestions. I have taken notes and will be discussing these with a Elder attorney and the Agency On Aging next week. I just want the best care for dad!

Good luck, and please let us know what the resolution is. We learn from each other here!

Yes, good luck with the elder law attorney.