Started the Medicaid process to prepare Doc for either home care or a facility. They sent a supplemental asking for lots of “household” financial documentation and proof. Does that mean I have to give my tax records and all financial info to them, too? Seems so intrusive and makes me not want to do this.
Very overwhelmed....and beyond frustrated. Came home from court today and FIVE HOURS LATER I can finally sit down to write this. Walk in to a complete and utter disaster of sh*t smeared on the floor, had a dozen diapers disgustingly smeared and used to clean the floor, the counter, the walls and the carpet again. Husband rushes home from the office - drops all he is doing, to come and shampoo the carpet AGAIN.
Doc took 3 showers at my repeated insistence as he dragged his feet and spread it on the carpet and his bed, and still had it smeared on his leg that I had to clean, along with all his bedding AGAIN. This was the first time we’ve had to deal with this level of bowel issues. Now we are past little spots or leakage from the diaper. Now we are past the line that I cannot stomache. Now what?
How do my home caregiving friends do it? How do you breathe?? Laundry is still going and I challenge any one of you mates to a contest of who goes through more laundry detergent or toilet paper - I guarantee you, I’d win by a mile. Gotta go shopping AGAIN to stock up for this merry go round. Then the septic company (who was just here 6 mos ago), just came to respond to our call that it already stinks - as if it can’t get worse - we need a whole new septic.
Unbelievable. I can’t do this anymore and I don’t want to deal with the state digging into our financials. I do not want this responsibility anymore but God help me, I see no way out without having to sacrifice even more than we already have. We have paid so much and I don’t want to spend another dime on this madness, we don’t deserve this! Feel like a whip driven slave to mental illness. What hurts the most is that I do not feel anything other than negative about Doc, and he has been my loving father for 20 years. In tears and emotional shambles right now. I hate dementia and I hope I never ever ever encounter it again in my life!!