Well, Terrim, since you don't want me to send you a message via your wall, I will post in Public. I think you were very rude to respond to Wallycat by saying "People like this make me sick."
I was not telling you what to do but to show some respect online to people asking for help. They came here looking for answers, NOT to be attacked verbally by you..."People like this make me sick." I promise from now on, I will NOT post on your wall - even though - quoting you...it " IS a Free country, and Freedom of Speech."
Yep. "Don't feed the trolls" by responding to them. Sort of like that annoying little bully in grade school...the more you get upset, the more it eggs them on & the behavior continues.
I love my Mother very much but it is very expensive taking care of her and her meds, doctors, and other wishes. I quit my job and have charged up credit cards for her supplies. I am waiting on the VA to help us with Aid and Attendance to use the back pay to try to get out of debt again. But we just take one day at a time and do the best we can. The future will take care of itself. I may be someone who will need to work until she is 80 to get out of debt, but I am a survivor and I will do what I need to do.
I was taught that every member of the household starts contributing to the household, when they have an income. When my uncle allowed me to work Fridays and Saturdays at his dental office at age 14, I contributed, $5 a week to the household. It was a lesson, not much of a financial arrangement for my parents.
Contributing and sharing assets is what I expect in a household.
Some people do seem to emphasize the financial relationship over the familial. These families may be better served to break financial ties and interdependencies and concentrate on the family roles. Doing business with family has always been complicated and fraught with peril. It does not get easier with age.
I do not see anything wrong with mom contributing to the household, whether food or rent, as long as it is fair. No guilt, and your relationship is mother/daughter, not tenant/landlord. Just keep that perspective.
There are unfortunate cases of elder abuse where the family only keeps the elder around for the monthly SS check.....that is not your case, if it was you would not question yourself. A woman in Ohio just went to jail for not reporting her mother passing, burying her in the yard, all because she did not want to get a job and forgo the check! Eek!
I am so sick of the word 'rent'. I doesn't even begin to encompass the word for all we do. That word is a huge red flag for me these days. I paid rent when I was in college and working my rear end at my first job after school.
No one placed me on the potty, or wiped my butt. No one got up at 5:45 every morning so I could go potty on their demand every freaking day of my life. No one limited my time out of the house to an hour a day. I paid rent. Not giving up my freaking life for what I was paid for CG.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/medicaid-make-me-pay-back-money-mom-paid-me-rent-157877.htm?cpage=2
I was not telling you what to do but to show some respect online to people asking for help. They came here looking for answers, NOT to be attacked verbally by you..."People like this make me sick." I promise from now on, I will NOT post on your wall - even though - quoting you...it " IS a Free country, and Freedom of Speech."
Contributing and sharing assets is what I expect in a household.
Some people do seem to emphasize the financial relationship over the familial. These families may be better served to break financial ties and interdependencies and concentrate on the family roles. Doing business with family has always been complicated and fraught with peril. It does not get easier with age.
I do not see anything wrong with mom contributing to the household, whether food or rent, as long as it is fair. No guilt, and your relationship is mother/daughter, not tenant/landlord. Just keep that perspective.
There are unfortunate cases of elder abuse where the family only keeps the elder around for the monthly SS check.....that is not your case, if it was you would not question yourself. A woman in Ohio just went to jail for not reporting her mother passing, burying her in the yard, all because she did not want to get a job and forgo the check! Eek!
No one placed me on the potty, or wiped my butt. No one got up at 5:45 every morning so I could go potty on their demand every freaking day of my life. No one limited my time out of the house to an hour a day. I paid rent. Not giving up my freaking life for what I was paid for CG.