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My mother has lived with all 3 of us girls since my father passed away over 2 years ago. My older sibling has convinced my mother to have everything put into a living trust with her as sole beneficary. I did protest and hired a lawyer. Now the preciding judge has ordered us to mediation due to as he put it " THE UNDERLYING ROT". It was brought out in the 1st hearing that she had done this and is keeping us from seeing our mom. She has even threatened having us arrested for trespassing. She wrote letters and sent them to the sheriff's office of the county that mom resides in with her. We are at our wits end knowing that mom has done completely the opposite of what her and dad had told us for years of how they wanted things to be. I just feel that my older sibling never had any respect for our loving father nor our mom for having her do this. Older sibling says she deserves it. Mom had said many times over the years that she felt that older sibling had abondened the family. How did she convince mom to do this?

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The saying, Money is the root of all evil" bears out here. Many families fall apart as parents age due to one or 2 siblings fighting for "their share" or more of their parents hard earned money. If all the other siblings are on the same page with you against what your older sibling is doing be prepared when you go to mediation to move your Mom out of your sister's influence. Go with a plan for the mediator that shows your caring about your Mom and not her money. Between your other siblings and you decided on a plan for where your Mom should move-be it in with one of you or in a care facility close to one of you depending on her health situation.Does your Mom seem afraid of your older sibling? if so, there could actual be an abusive situation going on-if not physical, then at least a mental abuse. Call the social services where she lives and ask for a home study of her living situation-tell them you suspect she may be in an abusive situation. Do this before the mediation. If it comes back with a positive for abuse the mediator may push more for your Mom to move in with another of your sibling or you.
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You know, I feel for you. We had the same thing almost happen to our family. My mom wanted to live in her own home so badly in KC that she would go along with what anyone said just so that they would stay with her. My younger sister and I live out of state from KS which leaves my brother and older sister in KS. My older sister found out that she wasn't included in my mom's trust because of things she had done earlier in her life to her kids. She had my mom eating out of her hands. My sister and I came to the realization that my mom was afraid of my older sister and did everything in her power to keep her grounded as sometimes she would go off the edge. We think my mom was doing this as a survival mode. My sister tried every way to get my mom to sign everything over to the grandkids instead of giving them to her children. My mom was giving my sister's portion to her kids. Since my sister wasn't getting a cent, she didn't want any of us to get a cent either. My sister's plan failed as we moved my mom in with me across the country. My mom has stated several times that she is leaving the will the way she wrote it to begin with. My sister won't speak to her now. I am sure she already has an attorney working on this even before my mom's passing. My mom see's her true colors and that it was all about the money. No concern for her welfare. How sad someone with our blood line acts this way. All I can say is that every knee shall bow before our Lord and Savior. My mom is still living with me so I don't know the outcome yet, but I do believe justice will prevail. Hugs to you.
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