Meals on Wheels delivery is growing inpatient with mom taking too long to answer the door.

Question

Meals on Wheels delivery is growing inpatient with mom taking too long to answer the door.

Follow

Share

Has anyone ever dealt with Meals on Wheels having to wait to provide delivery and then calling the police for a wellness for your loved one? I’m my mom’s sole caregiver and see her every other day after work for all her care needs (prepared meals, toiletries, pay bills, etc). So I have a good grip on her mental and physical wellbeing. She has been more stiff lately, but I can’t get her to go to the doctor for anything, for at least 3 years now. Plus, winter is tough on her and she wants to sleep and stay warm.

The other day, Mom took about 8mins to open the door and take delivery of her meal. This has been happening more lately. About 4 hours later, the police knocked on her door and said that meals on wheels told him that she didn’t answer the door and that they couldn’t reach her for delivery. This was false and I witnessed it through the security cameras. So I chalked it up to missed communication.

Fast forward to today and again she took about 6 mins to answer the door and the meals on wheels deliverer advised her that he would have to call the police to check if she doesn’t answer the door. While I appreciate this approach, I am concerned that no one has reached out to me at all. Meanwhile, I am watching everything through security cameras. I also do not want to have to keep calling the police for false alarms. But having them calling me every delivery while I’m at work would also be an issue. I might have to move her doorbell closer since the volume on her TV is loud.

Does anyone know what the best practice should be for Meals on Wheels? I’m afraid of multiple false alarms to the police department for something I can check on.

Thanks in advance for your support and suggestions!

Family Caregiver Home Safety Living Independently Mobility

15 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First

Can her PCP prescribe some home PT to assist with walking and movement?

Helpful Answer (2)

Reply to brandee

Report

Thank you Brandee! That’s a great suggestion. I set up a video appt with her PCP since she doesn’t want to leave the house. Her joints are so stiff from sitting all day. She prefers not doing anything or going anywhere nowadays. But I will suggest that and maybe some accessibility tools. I asked if she wanted me to get her a cane or walker and she said not yet. ☺️ She is such a tough little lady. Thanks again and God Bless.

(0)

Report

Have them call her when they are 15 minutes out so she can be standing at the door.

Helpful Answer (2)

Reply to brandee

Report

Thanks Brandee. Another wonderful suggestion. She doesn’t always answer her phone. This is a tough one and hopefully a suitable solution for her and MOW will work out.

(0)

Report

I'm going to take this issue a little sideways.

Who else beside the MOW person checks on Mom during the week?

That's part of their invaliable service, those extra eyes & the friendly (if brief) chat. Obviously some folk prefer to have their meals left on the porch, but many may welcome that little hello in their day.

It would be a shame if being 'slowed up' reduced the social contact.

I guess if just one driver/delivery person there's no time for a quick "be there in 10mins" call. If 2 staff, maybe... But phone probably not heard over the TV 😕

Having slower mobility doesn't necessary mean there will be more falls BUT slower, painful or stiff joints can impact balance & reduce reaction time.

My LO had been getting slower & slower to answer the door (for home care aides). Some would call their Supervisor & report no answer. Most staff did get to know & allow extra time.. some even started to call ahead. My LO didn't want to be left standing at the door waiting at all so that didn't really work.

Over time, the combo of poor mobility + rushing to the doorbell was causing more & more falls.

A key box was installed for the aids to let themself in (but I'm not sure if that is appropriate for MOW).

Leaving groceries was also a problem as bending to pickup from the floor had caused falls too.

Maybe you'd consider talking to Mom about how she is coping - in general, not just the MOW issue.
Eg Is it time for her to consider getting a little more help around the home? Or more company? A falls alert for frail people living alone is a good safety addition. Hope she has one.

I hope you find a fix for the MOW issue.

Helpful Answer (6)

Reply to Beatty

Report

Thanks Beatty, all very good questions and valid points. I’m the only one that is here with her most evenings after I get off work and on the weekends too. I think the social interaction that MOW provides helped us. There is no one else, but like I said, I am here most days and take care of her groceries, bring and prepare her dinners, her essentials, pay bills for her, Dr appts. etc. I am at work when MOW comes to bring her meals. So if they’d allow a cooler that will help when she doesn’t get to the door within a reasonable timeframe. I will be able to get the meal in the evening if she’d forget to get it. She didn’t wear the fall alert so I was paying $35 a month for a donation basically. The security cameras have been truly a blessing. She will only allow visitors if I’m here with her. Thanks again for the suggestions and God Bless.

(0)

Report

BLT, make sure and clarify what the protocol is for volunteers and coolers. Where I live, we can't leave the meal unless there is ice or cold packs. Period end, of discussion. So make sure you know what criteria, if any, needs to be met for the food to be left.

Helpful Answer (2)

Reply to Isthisrealyreal

Report

Thank you for the advice, Isthisrealyreal. You’re right, good suggestion! I need to find out first before buying the cooler. I know in the past, while out at her dr appointment or lunch, we forgot to let them know she wasn’t home, and would return to see the meal hooked on her screen door, visibly noticeable from the street. But this particular MOW deliverer is very diligent and caring. So I think he just wants to cheer her or get her motivated. I just felt excluded when the police were notified first and they had actually seen her and dropped off her meal earlier that day. I will mention that but in a way that is complimentary to the MOW deliverer since he is the only one that really stepped up to making sure my mom is okay. Thanks again for your help and God Bless.

(1)

Report

See 2 more replies

That's silly. My husband delivers for MOW, and he has one guy who just doesn't want to answer the door, so he leaves it ajar, and my husband puts the meal inside on a table, hollers that he's come by, and leaves. That's how the client wants it, so that's how it's done for his delivery.

Helpful Answer (4)

Reply to MJ1929

Report

Thanks MJ1929! That is a great process, but unfortunately will not work for my Mom. She’s a bit paranoid and I can’t even get extra help because she only trust me and my older sister who lives over 1500 flying miles away. So I’m going to get a cooler and have them leave her meals in it if she takes too long to answer. At least that way, she can get them later or I can get it for her when I get there. I just really want someone to check on her during the day and this was working until DST and Winter season kicked in and I think she just doesn’t want to get up and answer the door since it is cold. I’m going to reach out to the MOW coordinator to plan a process that will work for my mom and for their team. Thanks again and God Bless.

(2)

Report

Is she able to use a cell phone? Some smart doorbells can connect to a app where she can answer the delivery person to leave it at the door. Maybe place a small table at the door so she does not need to bend over

Helpful Answer (2)

Reply to MACinCT

Report

Thanks for the suggestion MACinCT. She has been having trouble using her cordless landline phone at times. So I was thinking about setting up an Alexa Echo Show 5 for her to see who is at the door and to respond. It might be too much for her right now. My immediate plans are to get a cooler to leave the meals in on her porch and move her doorbell chime closer so she can hear it over the TV. If there are any issues, I will suggest they call me and if they can’t reach me, then leave a message. I can call them back or update them later. Otherwise, they can contact the police only if something looks amiss or suspicious. Thanks again and God Bless.

(0)

Report

What is the reason for taking 6-8 mins? Is she not hearing the door bell (in which case you can get a doorbell sound booster or second ring in another room etc)

Or she takes long to get to the door? (in which case can set up a 2 way door bell with camera so she can speak to them and tell them she is coming.

With automated systems, all sorts of things can be done (some of which you know , as you are able to monitor by camera). If you are monitoring all the time, you can even get it set up so you are alerted when a doorbell rings and speak to whoever is outside her house.

Helpful Answer (3)

Reply to strugglinson

Report

Thanks for your feedback Strugglinson. She has been slow to answer the door since the start of DST/Winter and it has been slowly progressing to longer times. I know she hates to be cold and probably dreads having to get up from her cozy spot to open the door and be greeted with a gush of 20 degree breezes and a cheerful deliverer. But it is also that she has been stiff and it takes her longer to get to the door. She refuses to see a doctor for any type of treatment. I’ve been giving her a shot of Nature's Way Joint Movement Glucosamine, but it only helps a little. I will be looking at some 2-way communication options to see if it works for her and moving her door chime closer since her loud TV may be drowning it out. Turning down the TV is not an option. I also get alerts every time MOW delivers but since I’m at work, I don’t have the ability to always answer their calls and prefer that she gets up to answer the door and interact. I don’t know if the season changes and daylight hours is the issue, but I will make arrangements that are easier on her and more effective for MOW. Thanks again and God Bless.

(1)

Report

I don’t know if this is possible or inconvenient for the delivery person but can you request that they call either you or your mom a few minutes before arrival at her home so that she could be ready to answer the door?

Helpful Answer (3)

Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

Report

Great idea! They are usually consistent in arriving before 11am, so I will try to see if this would work best for her. Thanks for your advice! God Bless!

(0)

Report

I use to deliver meals here in Florida. We recommended a insulated cooler, we put the food inside and left.

Helpful Answer (7)

Reply to MeDolly

Report

Thank you MeDolly! I’m going to purchase one to keep on the porch and have them leave it if they can’t wait or need to get going. God Bless!

(0)

Report

Before mom was on hospice, I had them put a note on mom’s meals saying “slow to door” which resulted in a) a man just walking in the house and then trying to open other doors in the hallway inside (!) or b) them hanging the bag on the door knob without ringing in 90+ degree weather, resulting in mom getting up and checking the door every 20 minutes for two hours which was a LOT for her (on oxygen).

The people were very, very nice. It only took one call from me to get them to ring the doorbell and either wait, or leave the bag, (but mom preferred to just complain that they were doing a or b.) They said we couldn’t leave a cooler outside due to food poisoning concerns. So I guess they’re not supposed to hang it on the doorknob either. But the volunteers seem to all be senior citizens themselves just doing the best they can.

When it was my grandmother, the mailman saw a 2-3 days worth of meals sitting outside and called for a wellness check(which saved her life). At that time meals on wheels person just let them keep piling up.

Sorry for the long story, but I would call them and say you have cameras and check on her every day, so they don’t need to keep calling the police.

Helpful Answer (3)

Reply to LilyLavalle

Report

Thanks for sharing your experience LilyLavalle! It turns out, a woman that works with meals on wheels stopped by my moms a few hours later and requested to have me contact her because apparently they don’t have a good emergency number and the number they had for me no longer works(???). However, I received a call from the meals on wheels coordinator last July where she left a message and we subsequently exchanged text messages.
I plan to reach out to the MOW assistant to provide my information and suggestions that I’ve compiled from the forum responses to help with the current delivery challenges. I am so grateful for this community and everyone’s feedback. It’s a Godsend! Thanks again for your input! God Bless.

(1)

Report

Can she (or someone) put a cooler outside her door so she can get it at her leisure?

Helpful Answer (3)

Reply to Geaton777

Report

Yes. Thank you Geaton777! I’m going to purchase one to keep on the porch and have them leave it if they can’t wait or need to get going. God Bless!

(1)

Report

Realize that in that 8 min that they could be delivering someone else's meal too. They have a route that has to be done and in a timely manner. Is there maybe a lock box that can be used and only the MW know the code to get the key? Like Realtors have. Then they go in, set Mom up and leave. 8 min is a long time to wait to answer a door. If you can see them at the door, can't u call Mom and tell her they are there?

Helpful Answer (3)

Reply to JoAnn29

Report

Thanks JoAnn29! I absolutely agree with you and I appreciate the positivity and patience from Meals on Wheels delivery team. I personally like that they check on her because I’ve been her sole caregiver and work during the day. They’ve genuinely shown care and concern for her wellbeing. They are just not aware of all the support she receives. I should be able to clear this up soon. The input from the community has been great and I look forward to making some changes that will work for her and for them. God Bless.

(0)

Report

I have seen people set a small table outside the door they choose for the delivery, My MIL doesn't EVER answer her door and MOW;s would just leave her meal on this small table. Eventually she'd go get it.

Is it MOW's responsibility to check up on patients? I hardly think that's doable.

Threatening to turn you in to APS for this is ridiculous.

Helpful Answer (4)

Reply to Midkid58

Report

Thanks Midkid58! You made me giggle when you said your MIL never answers the door…lol. I am going to get a cooler to use…thanks for the suggestion. BTW…I don’t know what APS means and where did you read that there was a threat to turn me in? (Shocked Emoji Face 😯😳) That confused me. The threat was made to my Mom that if she doesn’t answer the door they would call the police for a wellness check. The good news is that MOW sent their coordinator shortly afterward to check on my mother and verify her emergency contact information because the number they had for me didn’t work. I haven’t changed my number in over a decade. I’m going to get this straightened out though! Thanks for your input! God Bless.

(0)

Report

I would start with making it clear to Meals on Wheels folks (who must have SOME sort of careplan thing, like "leave the meal at.........") that it takes her such and such amount of time to get to the door. Some folks like my friend Di actually have to put on braces to get up. If this doesn't work I don't know what to say. Many times these folks are volunteers, and part of it is not having a consistent person delivering who knows the amount of time it takes a senior.

You may be needing soon to know that living alone isn't going to work, also. This is something to try to think about as you go along.

I sure wish you the best of luck with the delivery service.

Helpful Answer (3)

Reply to AlvaDeer

Report

I agree with you Alva. Also, when I volunteered for Meal on Wheels (long time ago) we were allowed to come into peoples homes and open their milk for them or something like that. Just not stay too long so the others on route got their food.
I can see if someone lived in a more populated area and there weren't as many volunteers or as you said different people delivering.
The MoW usually have notes about people on that route. ex. slow getting to the door, etc. as you mentioned.

(2)

Report

See 1 more reply

I've never had that happen to my Mom, but I would appreciate it if they did. Sometimes the only person a shut in sees during the day is meals on wheels. I speak from experience from both sides of this.
They asked me which door would be easier to get to. Also, the volunteers usually get used to the people on their delivery route.
Speak to your Senior Center or wherever the meals are coming from.

Helpful Answer (6)

Reply to Rbuser1

Report

Thanks Rbuser1! I agree with you about having someone checking on her during the day while I’m at work. I love the benefits, but just was worried about having the police notified every time she doesn’t answer the door. I wasn’t sure if this was a new protocol for meals on wheels. In the past, when we were at her doctor appointments or out to eat, they would just leave it outside or not leave it at all. But it gives me some peace of mind that she was being checked on and getting a little interaction but I don’t think she cares for it like I do. I will get this straightened out and I am grateful for all the community support and input. Thank you and God Bless.

(0)

Report

Meals on Wheels delivery is growing inpatient with mom taking too long to answer the door.

15 Answers

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions