We're living in senior independent living with 3 meals a day provided, but they are carb loaded and often include 1-2 fried items. What should we do?

I've never heard of a senior living place that did not offer SEVERAL choices of food on a dining menu. Never. Look closer at the menu for more items that fit your healthy eating criteria & avoid the '1-2 fried items', speak to the chef at your facility, or the management about your preferences, or do as your children suggest and enjoy these years of your life without placing so much worry on what you're eating. My father worried about his calorie and fat intake every day of his 91 years on earth and still died of a brain tumor. Nobody gets out alive, I'm afraid.

Not to mention, no matter WHAT the ILF serves, the patrons WILL complain! It's the law. Too many veggies/too few veggies/too many fried foods/not enough fried foods/too spicy/too bland/too crisp/too mushy/too sweet/not sweet enough, etc etc etc. I've listened to those complaints for the entirety of the 7 years my folks were living in Assisted Living, in spite of the fact that they had plenty to choose from AND the food was quite good and plentiful~

Last but not least, I'm sure you have a fridge and a kitchenette in your apartment. Meaning, stock up on what you like and eat in a few meals a week to ensure you're getting meals that are tailored specifically to your tastes. That's your best bet.

Honestly there isn't much you can do, is there? Take into consideration all the food for the day instead of worrying about each meal separately - for instance opt for soups and salads for lunch to offset a high carb dinner, ask for eggs, yogurt etc for breakfast and skip the toast. At dinner ask for extra veggies in place of the fries or pasta. If you are allowed a mini fridge you can keep a few items in your rooms.
But I think that your kids are right too, the ill effects of high blood pressure and high cholesterol are cumulative and take years to develop, at your ages giving up things you enjoy may not really gain you much benefit.

Sadly the same thing happens in schools, Day Care Centers (for kids and Seniors)
High carb, high starch items are cheap and easy to prepare in large quantities. A lot of fried items are purchased in bulk pre prepared and partially cooked so frying is fast, easy and efficient for kitchen staff.
You can make good choices when it comes to selecting items.
Salad with a squeeze of lemon rather than prepared dressings. Or no dressing use cheese and fruits on top.
No bread, rolls, biscuits.
Baked or broiled rather than fried.
See it's easy..for me sitting in my house not having to make those choices.
would I rather have Beer Battered fish and fries in stead of the baked one that is probably dried out and mealy? You betcha.
Would I go get seconds on ice cream rather than skip dessert? Yup there is always time for ice cream!
Now...back to your choices.
do others feel the same way? If so as a group can you gather people and talk to management? See if there is a way that they can offer more healthy options?
Since this Independent Living I am sure you have the option of preparing your own meals. Are you given a "meal allowance"? If so cook more at home and be more selective when it comes to dining room meals. Maybe even a group of you can form a "dinner party group" and take turns preparing meals.

Wow! I can't believe how many people advocate passive acceptance of the low quality mass-produced food common in our very expensive institutions! Not everyone can prepare their own food in their rooms, nor should they have to. And no, it doesn't take a long time to develop circulatory or other issues from de-natured food at all. So sorry to read these comments.

I've been a resident at a facility. I have specific dietary needs. I had my orders sent to the facility by my nutritionist. When they were not providing the correct meals I went directly to the facility management and got it corrected.

In my mom's independent living facility there was a choice of items at each meal. Is this not the case in your facility?

Those 3 provided meals a day are part of your living expenses at that facility, so I wonder whether they could discount your fees if you stop partaking of those meals and prepare your own. It would be worth checking into; I realize a facility plans its food prep by number of occupants but maybe the 'meal plan' could be an 'a la carte' sort of thing, but not used just randomly to not wreck their budget. And ask your doctor for a 'prescription' for the food plan best for you and your husband, not to dictate to your facility but to show that you have legitimate health concerns that you are trying to follow.

You are entitled to eat a healthy, balanced diet and live your senior years the best you can. Is there a registered dietician on staff that you can converse with? How about the Director or Manager of the facility where you reside? For your medical conditions, you should be able to get a statement from your doctor's office stating the recommended diet and what is prohibited or at least limited.

A healthy diet helps to prevent a premature death. After 80, a death will no longer be premature. Healthy habits will not increase the life expectancy by much. Protecting the coronary arteries, will not prevent death from cancer, arrhythmias, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, kidney failure, liver disease, ALS or accidents,

If your independent living facility is like most of the communities here, COVID has REALLY restricted their supply chain. I found that they rely on one, maybe two, suppliers so that they can trace any potential recalls or product problems. My mom experienced a change from being able to choose from the offerings to a choice of eat or not eat. Some suggestions are to 1) see if you can adjust your meal plan to 1 or 2 meals a day, 2) redirect those funds to purchasing simple, but more to your liking, items you can prepare in your apartment. If you have a refrigerator and a microwave, that opens a lot of possibilities. Please do remember however that frozen prepared meals contain a lot of salt. Hopefully, the dining choices will improve at your residence along with supply issues.