Me and my husband have been taking care of his grandmother for the last 2 years. Can we be held liable if we let another family take over?

You are not the PoA AND you're not getting paid?? You are heroes. And no, you're not responsible for anything. The PoA is responsible.

Ditto to suggestions for family round table meeting below. I did this with 4 other siblings. My husband and I had an actual agenda to follow (which you could print out for the others). We made sure the main point was to provide the best care for your Gma that does not include you living there as now that is no longer a possibility (and you don't "owe" them an explanation why but you could give a brief summary of the reasons if you think they won't attack you for it).

Come to the table with some solutions/suggestions and give reasons why those might work. Then as others have stated let everyone have a calm, rational time for each to process and react. Redirect the conversation the minute it gets out of control (maybe come up with a time limit on the meeting -- make up whatever reason you need to give). Maybe warn them (politely) that any unproductive tangents will be ignored.

People get really worked up over money (understandably...this was the big concern in our family mtg). If you come with some realistic numbers (like what is the cost of in-home care that is NOT you, can Gma go onto Medicaid and into AL, etc.) Answer their fears before they take hold of the discussion.

Keep reiterating (politely and calmly) that it is not possible for you and hubby to do the caregiving any more, free or not.

Don't leave the meeting without total consensus for "next steps" (who will be doing what, when will they do it, how will they do it, how will they communicate it to others, etc). Any uncooperative people will be cut out of the plans moving forward. No one should derail your plans to exit. Make sure everyone knows your exit date.

It would be helpful to know if your Gma has any financial means? Does she have savings other than SSI? Does she own a house? Have any debt? The PoA needs to be transparent with this information if s/he wants a productive solution.

Alt ideas: get paid to do it, period. (find out how much the avg paid caregiver makes) and get it in writing. Arrange for specific time/days off. Stop doing anything if they don't keep their end of the bargain. Or, have your Gma give you Durable PoA (which she can do if she's of sound mind -- she doesn't need anyone else's permission to do this) and you continue to live with her and this way to call all the shots and no, you still won't be responsible financially as long as you don't co-sign any credit cards, loans, etc. But don't seek durable PoA unless you get family agreement. Communicate clearly and to everyone, be transparent. Wishing you success and family harmony!

You're incredibly kind to have taken on this responsibility---but you have absolutely no legal 'responsibility' to continue to doing so.

Time for a family meeting (plan on it getting hot and some angry word spoken). In fact, it wouldn't hurt to get a disinterested 3rd party to step in and correlate the discussion--but I don't know how you'd facilitate that!

Minimally, make a detailed LIST of the things you want to discuss. Make it a roundtable discussion. Let each person talk for 5 minutes. Then move on.

Maybe, and that's a HUGE maybe, you can work things out with a minimum of fuss. But plan on it getting ugly. I don't know your family's dynamics.

You are NOT financially, emotionally or physically responsible to continue to care for Gma.

I wish you all the luck in the world. My 2 attempts at this (simply getting paid help for mother twice a week) resulted in our family fracturing into 6 separate segments. I have not spoken to the brother who has mother 'captive' for over 2 years.

Family members should meet and discuss what the care will be ongoing and who will do it. If no one will discuss or step up then grandmother should be hospitalized and it should be made clear that you cannot accept her back in your care, and are unable physically to do the care anymore. Care will need to be sought by outside facility at that point. When you meet family set up a timeline in which these issues need to be addressed. Someone will need to accept POA to help with the financial for the person. If you do not wish to become deeply involved I would refuse to take that on. The state will appoint guardianship if the family is unable to have a member accept that responsibility. An hour of time with an elder law attorney would be well worth it as you move forward now.