Hi, my mother of 89 yrs of age with vascular dementia, currently in the care home the last 15 months. The manager spoke to me claiming it may no longer be possible to look after her. The reason being is that she demanded to go toilet at night time and is not sleeping very well as they only have 2 night shift staffs looking after 27 clients. She had the prolapse operation 2 weeks ago and is still recovering. Can be a little snappy because of lack of sleep. Surely they must understand that dementia can get worse over period of time. Can they do this? Regards Andy

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I agree with Ahmijoy. The staff is insufficient. And needing toileting assistance at night is no excuse - that happens anywhere and the facility should be prepared for it.

If she's just had surgery, I would hesitate to move her now. But speak with the DON (Director of Nursing) to determine what level of care they would recommend, including transfer to another rehab facility for post-surgery recovery before moving to a different level of care.

However, I think that it would be less traumatic for her to remain at this place until she's farther past the surgery. Moving now is just too soon.

And if you can work out an arrangement on the night time issue, you can have more time to find another facility.

Good luck!
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Hi, Andy. My first reaction is to say “yes, you need to find another place that isn’t so severely understaffed. “ When my husband was in rehab, the ratio of staff to patient was the same, but there was always help available if an emergency arose. Your mom has more than a few issues. She has dementia and she is recovering from surgery. I’ve heard prolapse surgery is pretty serious. I would think that she probably feels like she needs to use the bathroom a lot even if she doesn’t really.

I’m sure the facility realizes that your mom’s condition will get worse as time goes on, even when she is recovered from the surgery. They are being very honest with you in saying that they feel your mom needs more care than they can provide. I would believe them and ask them if they can recommend a facility with a lower staff to patient ratio. You can ask the social worker or the manager for this advice.
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