After 16yrs happily married, he has a stroke and becomes incoherent immediately. His kid's repo my car, cancel my phone service and took me off visit list. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

After 16yrs happily married, he has a stroke and becomes incoherent immediately. His kid's repo my car, cancel my phone service and took me off visit list. Any advice?

Follow
Share

I can remember years ago, my husband telling me that we needed to go down and switch names on important paperwork on final wishes such as POA, Beneficiary. After his first wife passed, he had put his kids name as POA. I guess I wasn't worried about it simply because I was ok with his kids making decisions on his behalf as long as his last wishes were carried out. I only met his kids once, for 5 minutes. 8 years ago my husband had a stroke. Not knowing the seriousness of it, his kids, who have lived in New Hampshire their whole life, flies to Oklahoma where their dad and I live, then takes him back to New Hampshire without telling me. After my husband regained his coherence a month later, he came back home to me. Disappointed with the way they handled it. I never met my father. Maybe that's the reason I was attracted to older men. My husband is 19yrs. older then me and the past 16yrs have been wonderful. We were happily committed to one another. Last month I had called my husband to find out what day the Lodge was hosting their event and noticed his speech wasn't right. He couldn't say what he wanted quick enough. I rush home and drive him 45 miles to the VA Hospital. They kept him overnight for observation. When I called the next morning to see if he was any better and they told me he took a turn for the worst. As I drive 45 miles to get back to him, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop crying. Before going into ICU, his nurse informed me that he wasn't responding, incoherent. As I stood by his bed, I reached over and took his hand. He smiled... for maybe 3 seconds, then just stared an empty stare at me. That hardest thing to do was holding back what felt like an ocean of tears. I didn't want him to see sadness. On the third morning before I left for the hospital, I called for an update. His nurse told me that I was taken off the list and wouldn't tell me anything. When I got there 2 of his kids were in his room blocking me from getting to him. I asked "what's going on here?" Long story short, I believe due to our age difference they've assumed I've been using their dad as a sugar daddy which is the furthest thing from the truth. Married 16yrs, could've divorced him years ago and taken everything if that was the case. But what we have is real. My daughter was 1 and a half when I met their dad. He has been the only daddy she's known. His kids was thousands of miles away for years without even calling him but once or twice a year, maybe. They don't know me and I've spent the last 16yrs in a loving and committed relationship with their dad, and in a matter of minutes they took my whole world and the only daddy my daughter had. As I'm sitting on my couch just hours after being told " your off the list " Me, his wife. Anyway I go outside to get my daughter's violin out of the car, and it was gone. Her instrument, glasses, and other important items gone. They went threw all their dads finances and saw that he was paying on a car that I drove. He bought it for me on our 15th anniversary. He was waiting til it was paid off before putting it in my name in case something happened and we couldn't pay, it wouldn't ruin my credit. Next, they canceled our phone service. And because me and my husband would set up our hotdog cart at festivals, he didn't want me to work a full-time job so his Air Force retirement check paid a lot of our expended, and I can't count on that anymore. So they took my car and my daughter now walks 6 blocks in the cold to catch the school bus, no phones anymore, no way to get a job without transportation, and bills come around every month,and after yrs. Of building our lives together, it feels as though I've been woke up while I was in the middle of a wonderful dream. Everything I was, they took from me because I didn't have the heart to take away POA from his kids. Then they do this to the wife their father love's and a step daughter he adored. Do you think I have rights, also, our rent house, they boarded up and a for sale sign in yard. Please, can anybody give me advice. My daughter and I don't deserve the hardship they've created on us. Thank you So much...

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
4

Answers

Show:
I would also contact DFAS (Defense Finance Accounting Service) to check on the status of his retirement check. email to:
dfas.mil/retiredmilitary.html

telephone: 1-800-321-1080

I hope this helps you a lot.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

You are his wife, that’s a legal status and I would think, you do have rights! You need a lawyer! Tomorrow seek one out!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

If you can pay a lawyer, DO it! These guys hate you, and you will have to go on the offense with them if there is any way to do it; they're destroying your life and your daughter's. The 16 years must be in your favor?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I feel so sorry for you and your daughter. If I were in your shoes. I’d definitely contact a lawyer
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions