I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. It’s hard to be a full time caregiver. Your profile says that your mom has Alzheimer’s disease, plus that you have a teenager too. God bless you!
Many people will advise that you set boundaries with your mom. I agree. You do have to protect yourself.
Honestly, I don’t know if some parents ever truly appreciate their children as being fully grown adults. They always seem to view them as ‘their little girl,’ instead of an ‘independent’ grown woman!
So, my advice is to respect and love yourself. Do what you feel is best for you and your immediate family. This may include considering other living arrangements for your mom. You are not abandoning her. You will be seeking out the best care. She will benefit from a staff to care for her. You will benefit from having your independence again. Best wishes to you.
Do you have any other questions for the forum? There are many people on the forum that has experience with Alzheimer’s disease. Please feel free to inquire about any of your concerns.
Once my dad passed away & my mother lost her husband & punching bag of 68 years, her behavior worsened & she took out all her anger & misery on ME. She too has dementia, which was in its earlier stages 6 years ago when dad passed, but she was still mean as a snake at that time & saying some pretty horrible things to me. Nowadays, at 94+ with moderately advanced dementia, the gloves are off and her filter is totally gone. Fortunately, she's been living in the same Assisted Living place the whole time, and now in their Memory Care building since 2019, so my exposure to her is limited.
You say your mother is living with you; now may be a good time to think about other living arrangements b/c I can tell you, dementia & ugly behavior only gets worse & worse with time, never better. If she and your dad had a house together, perhaps it can be sold to finance her stay in Assisted Living/Memory Care. Don't set yourself on fire to keep her warm, that's my advice. There comes a point in time where dementia reaches a crisis stage..........where the care requires a TEAM of people working 24/7 in order to properly manage it! I don't know where your mother is terms of her care needs, but please don't rule out moving her when her needs outweigh your capabilities. The activities alone in AL keep them busy, the doctor comes into the AL to see THEM, the hot meals are served, the list is endless, really.
Wishing you the best of luck and my condolences over the loss of your father.
She has lost a constant in her life. Is she living in her own home or yours.
If her own, you may want to place her. Dementia does not get better and Dads passing may have caused her to decline. Its hard for a woman not with Dementia to acclimate to no longer having a husband. Throw in Dementia and your Mom is wondering where he has gone. Yes, u told her he passed, she was probably there but she may not remember. All she knows is she is alone and scared.
Many people will advise that you set boundaries with your mom. I agree. You do have to protect yourself.
Honestly, I don’t know if some parents ever truly appreciate their children as being fully grown adults. They always seem to view them as ‘their little girl,’ instead of an ‘independent’ grown woman!
So, my advice is to respect and love yourself. Do what you feel is best for you and your immediate family. This may include considering other living arrangements for your mom. You are not abandoning her. You will be seeking out the best care. She will benefit from a staff to care for her. You will benefit from having your independence again. Best wishes to you.
Do you have any other questions for the forum? There are many people on the forum that has experience with Alzheimer’s disease. Please feel free to inquire about any of your concerns.
You say your mother is living with you; now may be a good time to think about other living arrangements b/c I can tell you, dementia & ugly behavior only gets worse & worse with time, never better. If she and your dad had a house together, perhaps it can be sold to finance her stay in Assisted Living/Memory Care. Don't set yourself on fire to keep her warm, that's my advice. There comes a point in time where dementia reaches a crisis stage..........where the care requires a TEAM of people working 24/7 in order to properly manage it! I don't know where your mother is terms of her care needs, but please don't rule out moving her when her needs outweigh your capabilities. The activities alone in AL keep them busy, the doctor comes into the AL to see THEM, the hot meals are served, the list is endless, really.
Wishing you the best of luck and my condolences over the loss of your father.
If her own, you may want to place her. Dementia does not get better and Dads passing may have caused her to decline. Its hard for a woman not with Dementia to acclimate to no longer having a husband. Throw in Dementia and your Mom is wondering where he has gone. Yes, u told her he passed, she was probably there but she may not remember. All she knows is she is alone and scared.