Tips for managing medical care from a distance?

Sorry, you can't really manage medical care from a distance(exception maybe being if parent is in a NH or ALF) even than you need to show your face and monitor care. You, your sister, your dad, and your husband need to sit down and talk about the future. It sounds like you're currently doing more than your sister is. What happens when you move and she says "sorry I have to work and can't go to the doctor with him". If he is getting confused how about his driving?

Your dad lives by himself in his home? You might want to discuss with him selling the house and moving to the area you will be in. Doesn't sound like it is something that has to be done right this second, but discussed. Or look into hiring someone to help him at home part time and go to Dr. appts. The problem with that is finding someone who is honest and reliable.

But if your husband is going to get transferred you need to discuss a plan. Your dad could move into an AL in your new area, if him living with you isn't something you want.

But you need to have an open and honest discussion as to what the long term plans are for all involved.

Best tip I can offer is, don't try to manage his care from halfway across the country. The older he gets, the more frequent contact he will require. Additionally, placement in ALF does not provide help with doctor's appts (some may provide a multi-person van, on certain days on 1st & 3rd Weds for example, to a certain medical office bldg, any "personalized" service is at a hefty hourly fee). An ALF will be able to help with basic health needs like medication administration & incontinence cares, according to their fee schedule. Someone will need to be IN the doctor exam room with your dad, and it should be your sister, or if she refuses then a paid attendant with whom your dad is VERY comfortable. This person needs to bring good notes of why the appt is needed today, and take good notes during the appt (not everything gets into the chart notes). IMHO if you must move and sis refuses, move dad along with you, to an ALF near your new home (unless you can afford to buy a home with an attached senior apartment or separate living area). Best wishes with this important journey -- your dad is so lucky to have you looking out for his welfare.

I am dealing with my parents care from 600 miles away. So far I'm managing the medical info by talking to the docs and their staff and getting set up as the primary contact. Mom is still mentally fit and is able to keep dad, with dementia in line most of the time. I make the trip to see them regularly and I know I'll be spending more time three as things progress. Fortunately I'm retired and can spend as much time as necessary with them. there will be long periods when I'll be staying with them. I have all the finances, bills, etc set up to deal with from my home. I call every day and keep a detailed log of meds, latest problem an so on. I have a complete dossier of all docs, facilities, neighbors, contractors, utilities, banks and any other contact info I could ever need. This may not work for you guys and dad may have to move near you as others suggested, but it is possible to provide long distance care to a large degree.