How do I manage a very negative and complaining caregiver?

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My parents caregiver is a very negative person. She is constantly complaining about their faults, their memory issues and everything they do wrong. She criticizes them all day and even mock about them out loud. This person was a former maid that agreed to care for them for free, just momentary. But my parents can´t afford other caregiver for financial reasons. My father has mild dementia and my mother has cancer. My plan is to move my parents into my house to do the care myself. This negative attitude has been increasing on time. I can feel my parents are deeply resented about her but remain quiet because they depend on her for help. It is very stressing. Hopelessly there’s nothing I can do right now until I can move my parents into my house, in about 5 more weeks. Besides all, Im an only child and really have no other source of help. I feel overwhelmed most of the time. Any suggestions?

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Thank you all for your helpful advice based on your experiences. I' ve been able to put in a balance the whole situation with more point of views. I understand that a maid is not the same as a caregiver, she must be going under stress, but she also knows I´m working on the solution of this problem. And yes I have considered assisted living, I think it would be the best for them. But the first part of the plan now is taking my parents into my house, and the urge is because they were living in a rented house and now the owner wants his house back. I suppose we will be sharing my house for a while, (I have prepared my husband and children for this), then my parents shall move to an AL they can afford. I hope to find the kind of caregiving they deserve. I don´t want them to feel they are a burden for someone anymore.
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As someone asked in passing - do you understand what you are signing up for with moving your parents into your home? Wanting to care for your parents does not a caregiver make. It makes you a good child with a big heart - but I caution you - arm yourself with A TON of knowledge before you take the plunge. You say you're an only child and will be doing this alone? One thing I wish would have occurred to me: A facility is staffed around the clock with three shifts of care providers with different skills...There are labor laws - they don't work 24/7...You will. What the h*ll was I thinking I could do this by myself? I've scrambled & pulled things together like a mad woman, but this is not sustainable. If your parents can't afford care, at least explore the Medicaid road - then you'll have FAR more options available to you - if not now, then at some point? I'm going to be exploring this in the coming month or two because as the sole surviving child of my mom, I have come to realize no amount of tenacity or resourcefulness is going to ease the constant strain. (Mom is 7 years into the Alz diagnosis.) I have also learned that despite all the people who tell you how great it is that you're doing this, at the end of the day, when you feel you're reaching the end of your rope, the only hand you'll get is a pat on the back (which you will come to resent) when what you desperately need is a life preserver. Formulate plan B, C, D, etc. It was probably a burned out caregiver who first said, "The road to h*ll is paved with good intentions." Yes, it can be done & what doesn't kill you may make you stronger, but most days I feel completely torn down. It's all relative.
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Maybe the negativity and complaining come from bitterness, because she is not being paid? Sure it sounded like a king thing to do when she offered, but then reality set in and each issue for her to deal with becomes an irritant. It is hard enough to do this for a loved one without compensation. Have a heart to heart and let her go, with your gratitude for what she has taken on, albeit imperfectly.
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I am assuming u planned on hiring the "maid" not a trained caregiver. For now get your parents ready to move in. Explain to the "maid" that you won't be able to hire her to continue care to ur parents. Call ur local Office of Aging to see if ur parents would be able to get an aide thru them. Same with Medicaid. I Mom's cancer terminal eventually. Maybe have Hospice evaluate her. You will get an aide for her. Good luck.
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An acrimonious caregiver is not a good caregiver.
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I have to agree some caregivers are stressed to the point of burn out. I was forced to take care of one for two weeks while they got over a prostrate operation, but the dementia came and the other was put in a wheelchair helping the other and now has dementia too. There is no pay ether and constant accusing of stealing keys, flirting with the wife of the older couple, and a thousand little things. im only doing 15 hours 6 day's a week. I keep my cool with them ok, but I have family and the other care taker who spends the night to talk to. . Sounds like she is useing you to talk to and blow off steam, maybe she is not feeling appreciated for all she is doing for no pay. Try giving her a brake with hospice, is there any arengment to compensate her, like when they sell there house and move in with you ? Or is it just a thanks, now get lost deal. This all adds stress, while I agree she should not take it out on them and should just quit it's not her response ability for there care. Only choice I can see is take over now, or get someone else, not everyone is cut out to be a caregiver.
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Fire her and get another!!#
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The former maid now "free" caregiver has to be upset at the dynamic she's set up. Doesn't excuse her behavior, so I'd let her go. There HAS to be other avenues. Neighbors who will step in for a few hours, friends, I don't know, but anybody would be better than a negative Nellie making your parents lives miserable. I'm only 60 but oftentimes my kids will treat me like I am completely dotty and stupid, to boot. They think I "don't get it" but it is hurtful beyond belief. I don't know how much of what is being said to your parents they are internalizing. But negative behavior hurts, even if it's just the tone in which something is said.
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I agree that the 'former maid' feels stressed out and trapped here, Caregiving is a horrendous, hard, stressful job (which you are certainly going to find out if you go ahead with plans to move your parents in with you). Finding some kind of free or low-cost help is going to be very difficult, and you may have a parade of people coming and going. (my mother needed more care than light housekeeping and heat-up-her-soup, we had weekend help who would call me and say they couldn't handle it, nor were they trained in health care and weren't supposed to be doing that kind of thing. You get some young woman from a church group who thinks she's going to be doing 'friendly visiting' and that's ok, but she shouldn't be asked to change diapers or administer medications!) Either you fill in for the fed-up maid or hire someone for the short term, use your parents money. And re-think moving them into your home.
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One of you challenges is cost so do as agingmyself suggests and seek out government agencies on aging and senior services. Given that you only need help for five weeks you may be able to get a cost saving solution through those sources.

Another thought, do they have a trusted friend who is in better health, or someone from their church who could come at least for some days each week?

The maid agreed to do this "momentarily", but she has been doing it long enough that she is resentful and still has five weeks to go...that is not momentarily. Caregiving is far more demanding than people anticipate. She likely has gotten into something that is more than she bargained for and now feels trapped. On top of that she is not being paid. Frankly, it is a lousy situation for everyone involved regardless of all the good intentions. If you can find someone to take over for her a couple of days a week (I.e. Friends and/or church member) she may have less stress and be better equipped to be a pleasant caregiver. If you take weekends, the maid takes Monday, Wednesday and Friday, one or two other people can take Tuesday and Thursday. It is only for five weeks, it is doable. They had the maid before this and she was willing to do this for free. She was a good fit in the past, give her some relief and she may be able to be a good fit for the next five weeks.
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