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My dad is 93 - in good health for his age, both physically and mentally. He has been using adult disposable underwear (I refuse to call them diapers!). He no longer has the "urge sensation" and is not diligent about getting up to the bathroom or changing them. This has resulted in UTI's, skin irritation and hospitalization. I know I will need to be more involved with this process, but am looking for suggestions for products. I have suggested external catheters, but I would need to be the one to put them on him. He is not keen on that idea, but I would do it - I'm just worried about additional skin irritation. I've seen one product that is like a wrap, and wicks away the moisture from the skin. This would also need to be changed often. Maybe I don't totally get this as a woman, but why don't they have a product where the penis just sits inside some sort of cup and the urine then drains into a bag. This would eliminate the need for adhesive and urine remaining on the skin. All suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thank you!

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I think your best solution here would be proactive. It’s almost like how you would potty train a toddler.

Take him to the bathroom often, like every hour or two. Have him sit and try to go. While he is seated, dispose of the soiled underwear and put on fresh. Keeping him in a dry diaper is key here. If the bathroom is a hassle because of distance, have a commode nearby so that it won’t be such an effort on his part.
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Using the disposable pull up or tab type products are the “easiest” way. But he should be taken to the bathroom every 2 hours. This is for several reasons.
1. even if the disposable underwear is not soiled he can try to go.
2. getting up every 2 hours can help circulation and that can help in preventing pressure sores.
If it gets to the point where he is unable to safely get up you can look into different types of catheters
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hugs!! :)

i hope things are improving for you and your father.
you wrote a few weeks ago.

you said:
"why don't they have a product where the penis just sits inside some sort of cup and the urine then drains into a bag"

good question.
i guess the cup would fall down/etc.

anyway, there are various catheters...
i'm sure you already read about the types...
condom catheter, etc...

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i know an elderly person with the suprapubic catheter (a doctor makes a hole in the stomach: the pipi drains into a bag, or you can choose a valve, and in this way, the person exercises their bladder).

advantage to suprapubic:
...mayyybe less infections than the normal catheter that's put into a man's private part
...it exercises the bladder; if you choose the valve, the man can still do normal natural pipi + empty pipi through the valve
...if incontinence is a big problem, then let the pipi drain in the bag
...or you can combine: nighttime, put the bag (this way, the person sleeps; no need to go to the bathroom)...daytime, put the valve (this way, the bladder gets exercise)

disadvantage to suprapubic:
...it's permanent (but it's possible for a doctor to remove the catheter; the hole in the stomach will close right away)
...the person needs an operation: the doctor will make a hole in the stomach
...it'll take some weeks to recover, but the stomach wound will heal
...the tube in the stomach must be changed every 2, 3 months. this can cost a lot of money.

disadvantage to the normal/usual catheter (it goes into the male private part, instead of the stomach)
...it can feel strange having something in the private part
...the suprapubic catheter gives a free feeling (the private part is free)

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in any case...the advantage to catheters, is that you don't need to worry about incontinence pipi.

you just need to worry about incontinence kaka.

then, as JoAnn below wrote:
the person should regularly go to the bathroom, even if they don't feel like it. something might come out, and it'll help prevent some kaka accidents.

going to the bathroom right after meals, is a very good idea.
kaka often comes then.

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i think it's healthier for the body not to have a catheter.
if possible, avoid them.

but sometimes catheters are useful against incontinence.

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hugs!!!
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bundleofjoy Dec 2021
hi :),

just adding to what i wrote above:
"i think it's healthier for the body not to have a catheter.
if possible, avoid them.
but sometimes catheters are useful against incontinence."

for example, incontinence (pipi) can get very messy (kaka too, of course).

and going the bathroom many times at night, can be dangerous (falling) and annoying for elderly people. AND sleeping is important.

i know an elderly person who has the suprapubic catheter (tube in stomach). at night, the person uses a pipi bag; during the day, the person does real, natural pipi the natural way (the pipi bag is taken away).

the goal was to have the catheter temporarily.
but there are advantages in keeping it. the person gets to sleep very well at night.

and the person never has incontinence (pipi), since there's the catheter. 1 less problem.

so, the elderly person i know, might decide to keep the catheter: the person really enjoys the un-interrupted, nice, peaceful sleep.

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i mention this, because unfortunately, many elderly people have incontinence (pipi). sometimes...a catheter can be useful.
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Is he living with you, you with him or he is on his own?

If you are living with him, then every 2 hrs take him to the bathroom. If he is regular with #2, take him around that time.
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