I'm making myself sick by not going and visiting my dad as often as I think I should. What do I do?

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He thinks I've just gotten rid of him.

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I know its hard to see your parent in a nursing home. As long as he is in a safe and caring environment, do what you can. My grandmother lives in a nursing home and would love to have visitors every day, but she gets a few visitors once a month. I tried to visit her once a week but since my dad's passing I haven't gone as much.

When you do visit your dad, reassure him you still love and care about him. And you have not gotten rid of him but only wanted him to have the best care possible. I don't know what he is interested in, but maybe try and bring him a few of his favorite foods, books or games.
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Spacedcat, I assume your Dad is living in Senior Living, correct? Don't worry, Dad is probably in a routine with the rest of the residents who live there.

As for him to think you had gotten rid of him, that is quite common, residents like to vent because they want to go back to the life they had prior to becoming older. I would be grumpy, too.

I would think once a week visit is enough, make it a Sunday, that is when other grown children and grandchildren come to visit their older relatives. If the weather is nice, and if Dad is able to do so, go outside and sit in the courtyard. Or if Dad is mobile enough, take him to a fast food place or ice cream place as a treat [my Dad loved that].

Now if you live some distance away, I would only go when you can. In the mean time send Dad funny greeting cards that he can put up on his bulletin board. Is there other family around? My Dad's neighbor, from when he lived in his own home, would stop by once a week to chat as both were history buffs.
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Why are you not going? I don't mean that question critically, there can be all sorts of extremely good reasons for not being able to visit, I'm just asking.
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