Teasing apart depression from personality disorder. Ever since my MIL got diagnosed with a neurodegenerative illness my FIL has become an anxious, depressed, and controlling wreck. He controls everything she does and how we do things for her. She expresses preferences and he ignores them even though she's far more mentally fit than he. This year he started losing his balance and walking funny. He sometimes says there is something wrong with his heart but none of his doctors can find anything wrong with him so he keeps finding new doctors to go to. If he's not hovering over my MIL he's mentally checked out. Is he making her illness about him? In the past he has used her illness to get sympathy for himself. They have a helper but he's her primary caregiver and controls everything, which has landed MIL in the ER. Their codependent relationship and bad decisions are challenging to deal with. We're the ones who get the calls for help and have to drop everything to attend to their needs real or imagined. What is going on here? What, if anything, can be done?