Is making a report to APS really the right thing? - AgingCare.com

Is making a report to APS really the right thing?

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I know I have what I need to protect my moms finances..its really clear from so many over drafts and her bills not paid.
My sister already wont let me see her again..she did this before..I'm not a bad person..I simply disagreed with a situation she is in with my own grand kids..that put me in the dog house yet again..if I do report the way she.manages my mom and her account...I will never ever see my mom and she will not let me attend her funeral when that tragic day comes.
Should I let it go with hopes she will one day let me see my Mom again..or risks never seeing her ever again? What's your thoughts on this..I'm not looking for revenge..no one will put her in her place..she does not honor my moms personal feelings..its all about her..she's a loose cannon..always.a.risk you may saybthw wrong thing..should I tell moms doctor? Just curious!!

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My sister has dpoa..and this has went on sense her stoke..two things are for sure..her bank statements will show the over drafts...mom can't talk..she does gesture the words " what about what I want". One visit I took a sheriff..I watched him tell her there's nothing she can do..she signed it all..you gotta understand..this sister has a history ..my family is extremely disfunctional..she is the oldest..I'm the youngest ..she is and always was extreme a controlling person ..as well as a " dry drunk". That's where you don't have the alcohol but you still have the behavior ..screams..wants to physically fight...cusses..and threatening ..my middle child is in a huge custody battle
.last week she threatened to call the kids dad and say some pretty ugly things..I can't put her into words..it is a big mess..she isn't manageable.
Or reasonable..she owes three storage sheds..( by which she can't empty due to she's in arrears by 700.00 dollars..she stores things...nothing but stuff..she I suppose is a hourder..I don't see a solution other than me accepting ill never see my momma again.
It was a bad choice and mom never dreamed it'd be so bad. She stays in bed 19 hours a day..alone..they get her up at five and back to bed a ten..my mom always used to say she never wants to live like this..it sure happened anyway..its just sad..none of my siblings can stand up.to her..she is just to powerful..my mom is her tool..you never know what topic will cause her to blow up..so unpredictable ..if I had money I'd get an attorney and get my mom..an I'd do as my mother would want me to do
.I'd never keep no one including my sister from having a relationship.with her..mom was loved by all she never met a
Stranger..mom adored her kids..I never moved away as they all did..I was so close and I knew I was so blessed to have her..I always knew it was a gift to have such a good mom..for the last few years my mom has not be afforded the chance to choose her life..I do know in the end we all will stand accountable for our actions here in this life..one thing I will take from this is my part..I did try..I did loose..and ill see my mom again some day in a much better place
..those are my beliefs ..thank you all for reading my messed up babble...peace be with you all..
ststranger
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Does your sister, or anyone, have POA? If not, then it's your mom making bad financial decisions.
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The decision is yours. If you are truly concerned about moms health, welbeing, and suspect she is making poor financial judgement such that she endangers her ability to provide for herself....and/or you suspect sister is not acting in moms best interest, then yes, go ahead and request APS visits home and investigates. Be forewarned, you should have solid evidence and documented examples of how you believe these concerns to be true.

Another option would be a private elder care case worker that will do similar and more thorough follow up.

You already know this will cause a riff so be sure you have come to terms with potential fallout from this.

Is there a way you can meet sis or other family members and peacefully resolve visitation so you can visit mom and get a better feel for her care? Can you write a letter to sis and explain your feelings again so she can read without confronting you and hopefully accept a call or meeting with you so you too can deal with moms best interests and not any rivalry or revenge?

Good luck with your decision. Just know APS will be very non biased and lenient...so mom can be making some bad decisions or ones you perceive as bad, but if she isn't deemed incompetent or in danger, likely they won't disturb her status quo. They will probably just suggest some support services and it will be up to mom to accept or reject the help. They won't force mom to accept you back in her life.
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